Dead Prayers

In general, other than at a funeral close to the time of death, I do not say prayers for people who are already dead. I pray for the grieving, for those who continue to mourn, for those with unspoken pain, for the currently dying, for caregivers, for those with vocations surrounding the realities of death, for those tending to the many tasks that come with death. All of that, yes, but almost never directly for people who are long dead. 

That changed this summer as I visited cemeteries, happened upon graveyards, viewed countless war memorials, paid my respects where markers had worn away, and stood in places where blood watered fields. 

I went to the cemetery that holds the mass graves and some individual plots for the victims of the Lusitania disaster. I wept at markers for the dead of the Great War (WW1) and the Second World War and stood quietly at markers for the lost in individual battles. 

My son and I read through names on a memorial marker to the enslaved workers at Catoctin Iron Furnace, looking into the rippled ground under the trees where no markers still stand. 

We walked among marble and granite markers at Gettysburg and at other battlefields, where even unknown dead are acknowledged. 

In Iceland and in northern Scotland, I saw the many markers for children who died so young from things we can now prevent with vaccines. If we want to. One of the saddest sights for me will always be the tombstone of a man who outlived his beloved wife and children. By years. There are often many things we take for granted that he would have given anything to have. 

The Mule Shoe Salient at Spotsylvania is where I finally walked into the woods and cried so hard that I choked on my tears. It was not the first place I cried nor the last, but the air there is not peaceful. And I was finally exhausted, not from travel, but from the accumulation of sites and information about people who would rather die than let someone else be free. 

And this is where I tell you that early in these travels, in a very un-Lutheran way, I began to pray for the repose of souls, for light perpetual to shine on the dead, for those who died in bondage or pain to receive the deepest renewal of God’s peace. 

Theologically, I believe people are already at rest in God’s care. 

Psychologically, though, it was easier to pray for the dead than to pray that the living would learn from history. It was easier to pray for perpetual grace for those already gone than to pray that the folks who currently walk the earth would open their minds, soften their hearts, and love their neighbors in word and deed. War monument after war monument, battlefield after battlefield, tiny marker after tiny marker, it was easier to speak to the Divine about the dead than to, once again, plead for a world where we truly intend to do for one another what Jesus would have us do. 

I have rarely, if ever, taken the easier way in my life, but I did in these recent moments. It was just easier than accepting that we haven’t learned, we haven’t changed, and maybe we don’t want to. I won’t quit my work and I won’t quit praying, but I hope that someday someone will pray for me. Easy rest comes from God. Because there are people who will disturb it if they think they can. 

Prayers for Ordinary, But Important Tasks

Paraments Changed from Green to Red

Sometimes the everyday rituals mean the most. I was pondering these while doing some necessary, but mundane tasks at church. Here is a series of prayers for church and home activities that help us connect more deeply to the activities. 

Waiting for A Hot Beverage to Be Ready

Water of Life, I give you thanks for this tea/coffee/hot cider/cocoa/etc that I am about to consume. Its warmth and comfort remind of the consolations and peace of your everlasting arms. May I rest in those arms forever and carry the peace of this moment into the rest of my day/evening/night. Amen. 

Changing the Altar Candles

Light of the world, you illuminate all existence with love and mercy. Even in the depths of pain and grief, You are present and do not permit us to walk alone. Strengthen our trust in your real presence and our perception of your works all around us. Amen. 

Washing Dishes or Loading the Dishwasher

Holy Provider and Healer, you have once again provided daily bread for me/us. Thank you that we were able to eat and keep me/us mindful of those who are hungry. The never-ending task of preparing food and cleaning up is a reminder of your never-ending love and mercy. Amen. 

Changing the Paraments (Altar cloths) 

Ruler of All Seasons, you have brought us to this celebration/observance of __________ (insert season, festival, or observance here). We give you thanks that you have sustained your church, through the Holy Spirit, through these many changes and that you will be with us in all that is to come. Guide our worship and praise, so that we may always be aware that you alone are due all honor and glory, now and forever. Amen. 

Changing the Toilet Paper 

Look, Lord, there are many things I take for granted, but this is not one of them. Thank you for this resources and the many others I may not even consider today. Guide me, through this life, that I may make choices that support the flourishing of the earth and all people- even in my most private moments. Amen. 

What are the other daily tasks that you can think of that might also benefit from small benedictions or prayers?

Abide With Me

This prayer was originally written for and posted on revgalblogpals.org on Friday, 18 January 2019.


Holy Breath of Life-

There is a fine edge in my world.

The space before the ledge is the area wherein I acknowledge the idols in my life,

Attempts and desire for control,

Tasks that busy my day and prevent rest and stillness,

Issues that I have made my own without consulting You,

Frustrations and hurts that I feed as though they would produce nourishing fruit.

The small border of the larger space, the tiny strip, just before the very edge…

This is the space where I admit, oh so quietly, that my life has become unmanageable.

This is the space where Your air gives me enough strength in my own mouth to shape the words- I am not doing as well as I pretend to be.

I have taken up residence, now, in this tiny borderland- the territory between denial and what seems like it might be a freefall, but is more likely a float in the everlasting arms.

I am not thinking of causing myself pain, but instead wanting to dwell in a tent of honesty and hope.

Abide with me here. Send ravens with food.

Save me from times of trial.

Hear my prayer.

Amen.

Revelation Read-Along: Day 14

Reading: Revelation 11:15- 12:6

Advent Theme: Vulnerability

I am presently reading Where the Red Fern Growsout loud to my son. Since it has been years since I read the book, I had no memory of the theological thread through the book. God plays an influential non-speaking role in the story. The first appearance thereof is when Billy remembers a lesson he learned from his mother’s Bible reading to the family: “God helps those who help themselves.” My son’s own mother (me) had to pause to point out that the Bible doesn’t actually say that. 

Many people want to spend time and energy proving the thesis that God helps those who help themselves. I’m never sure what that’s a point to prove. Furthermore, there are plenty of people who do work hard, who live faithful lives, who invest toward helping others and who do not receive financial, physical, or mental reward. Matthew 5:45 notes that God makes the rain fall on the just and the unjust.

What does that have to do with this very odd juxtaposition of verses in the middle of Revelation? The angels and saints are praising God, saying that God’s kingdom shall be forever. There is storm from heaven, while on earth a pregnant woman is threatened by a dragon. The woman is swept away by God to the wilderness and the baby is safe as well.

One way to look at this imagery is that the pregnant woman represents the Christ followers. Bearing new life, they are vulnerable in the face of dragon that wishes to crush and devour them, snuffing out the new life and the growth it represents. God’s intervention in the metaphor indicates that John believes God will protect the groups of believers, perhaps even removing them to a safer place. 

Please note, though, that the believers cannot save themselves. The remove to safety, the sheltering, the protection- it comes from God at the Divine will. If the believers fight back against Rome- perhaps with swords- they will likely die. If they run away to hide, they may not be in a safe place or able to sustain themselves. They are to continue the work that John mentioned in their specific addresses, earlier in the book, and wait with attention for God’s guidance.

Potential Takeaway:  God cares for sparrows, ants, platypuses, and giant squids. God’s compassion isn’t waiting for the most assertive to gain access through the right combo of words and actions. It is present to all, poured out, actively on-going because that is God’s own nature. The next time you’re thinking, “God helps those who help themselves”- consider that might be a sign to slow down, reflect, and look for clarity and spiritual guidance. 

Merciful God, Your generosity knows no bounds. Your kindness lasts from generation to generation. Your divine help is called grace- unearned, unbidden, and poured out for all. Guide me into a deeper trust of Your provision and care. Amen. 

Psalm 25, Revisited

In Hebrew, Psalm 25 is an acrostic psalm. The beginning of each sentence forms the alef-bet down the page. 

I have re-written Psalm 25, in Revised Julia Edition, to be an acrostic of the English alphabet. 

All of my being belongs to you, O Lord, 

Because of this truth, I trust in You alone. Consent not that the forces that oppose You to triumph in my life.

Do not allow any of Your faithful people to become discouraged or embarrassed because of their hope in you. 

Educate me in Your ways, O Lord. Teach me the feel of Your road. 

First things first, and that must always be You. 

God of all things, You alone offer true wholeness and peace: salvation.            

Happy is the one who learns this and waits for You. 

I beg you to continue in mercy and everlasting compassion, O Lord,  

Just as you did for Sarah, Ruth, and Hannah. 

Keep no mementos of my sins- against You or others.

Let Your own eyes of love be the lens through which You see me. 

Majesty is revealed through constancy and goodness, which certainly describes the Lord. 

Neglecting no one, the Lord offers guidance in faithful discipleship.

O God, those who are willing to listen will hear and receive Your guidance,

Patiently, the Lord corrects and guides the faithful to a holy life. 

Questioners find a way of surety and eternal mercy when they follow the Lord. 

Remember, O Lord, Your Divine reputation and forgive me all my many sins. 

Since we fear, love, and trust the Lord, we will not be without direction or help. 

Those who listen to God will find the justice, life-fullness, and family they desire. 

Ultimately, the Lord does not abandon those who want to be God’s people. 

Victory over sin and death belong to the Lord, who includes even me in that triumph. 

When You think of me, O God, pour out the healing you know I need in my whole being.

X-ray those who hate me, see their insides, and protect me from what may truly harm me. 

Yes, I seek a life of wholeness and self-control as I wait for you. 

Zion, the original people of Your heart, awaits Your redemption. Hasten to them, O God. 

Psalm 27 Revisited (Crosspost)

This was originally written for and posted at Revgalblogpals.org on 16 November 2018.


Psalm 27, Revised Julia Edition

God is my opening to life and my deliverance from evil—
who thinks they can scare me?
The Lord is a solid fence around me—
who will try and come through God’s defenses?

When those who oppose God’s will come at me

thinking they can do something,

it is all over for their evil plans-
Boom! Crash! Rubble.

Though they bring friends to gang up on me,

my heart will not panic;

though hostilities confront me at every turn,

even then I will be confident.

I do have one request for God, though, 

one thing that I really, really want:
that I may perceive the presence of the living God
every day of my life,
to gaze on the splendor of the Lord
and to find the Divine in every place I look.

For in times of trouble
God will keep me safe in the Divine dwelling;
God will hide me in the shelter of the sacred tent
and give me a perch upon the rock of ages.

Then I will look down on all those
who thought they could plan my destruction;
at the Divine tent I will offer my endless praise and thanksgiving;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I pray to you, O God;
be merciful to me and answer me.
My heart says of you, “Look for God!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.

This is no time for holy hide and seek,
please do not frustrate me;
you have been the one thing I could count on.
Do not swipe left on me or unfriend me,
God my Savior.

Though the people closest to me leave and hurt me,
I know You will greet me at each turn.

Teach me the way of Divine love and mercy;
lead me in a life that brings honor to You,
so that no one can find fault with me.

Do not let those who oppose Your will for my life win,
for people lie about me and my motivations,
making up a lot of crap.

I know one thing is true:
I will see God’s goodness and provision
in this life; I don’t have to die first.

Wait for the Lord;
be faithful and brave
and wait for the Lord.

A Not-Exactly Imprecatory Psalm

This prayer was originally posted as the Friday Prayer on 9/28/18 on revgalblogpals.org. Since I am feeling the same sentiment today, I am posting it here. If you share it, I encourage you to click the Friday Prayer link above and share from my original post. 

Look.

I try not to treat You like a divine vending machine- prayer in, need out... 

But in the present situation, that awareness means my prayers are more along the lines:

“FFFFF#$)*#0&&#$(&(*^&(#^&^$()*@&#)(*@&&@!#(*&!!!!!”

That’s me releasing a fraction of my deep feelings into the deep and wide well that is the Holy Repository for Grief and Frustration.

Between You and me, though, that’s not cutting it right now on the human end.

I guess I’m saying I want a little less talk and a lot more action.

(Of course, You’re probably saying the same thing to me.)

Noted.

Maybe Your vastness is the problem. Maybe if You had a hard limit, this would be easier because shifting our rage and impotence and pain and hurt would eventually fill Your repository and then maybe there would be something, somewhere, somehow that would seem like the justice that I believe can only come from You.

I thought about asking for intercessions from Hagar, Bilhah, Zilpah, and Bathsheba, but then the Holy Spirit reminded me that a modern white woman should not be seeking assistance from brown and black women of the past or the present. That equation has been imbalanced for too long.

So, I’m here- seeking the Source of All Things- wondering, in the midst of this fresh (and so very old) hell, when do we receive fresh heaven?

When will there be a sense of heaven coming down to earth?

When will all things be made new?

Because this present reality of nothing new under the sun is crushing us- our spirits, our wills, our hopes.

And when we cry out to You and only hear the echo of our own voices…

It hurts.

The echo mocks us, twisting the sounds of our voices and sounding like laughter from the forces that oppose you. (We renounce them!)

Taking for granted the underlying nature of the Divine Character, I am trusting that there is wholeness and rest for the Levite’s Concubine. That You know her name. That she is still being consoled.

But I bet she’d have liked not to have had such a shitty experience. Period.

Eternal consolation may not be enough for painful, physical humiliation and death- plus any moments of feeling abandoned by You.

Before this floats into the abyss of all prayers, I hope You receive this.

And, mercifully and speedily, answer me.

Amen.

Holy Thursday (3/29)

MARK 14:43-65 Immediately, while he was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve, arrived; andhim there was a crowd with swords and clubs, from the chief priests, the scribes, and the elders. Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “The one I will kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.” So when he came, he went up to him at once and said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. Then they laid hands on him and arrested him. But one of those who stood near drew his sword and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear.
with
Then Jesus said to them, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a bandit? Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not arrest me. But let the scriptures be fulfilled.” All of them deserted him and fled.
A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.
They took Jesus to the high priest; and all the chief priests, the elders, and the scribes were assembled. Peter had followed him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest; and he was sitting with the guards, warming himself at the fire.
Now the chief priests and the whole council were looking for testimony against Jesus to put him to death; but they found none. For many gave false testimony against him, and their testimony did not agree. Some stood up and gave false testimony against him, saying, “We heard him say, ‘I will destroy this temple that is made with hands, and in three days I will build another, not made with hands.’” But even on this point their testimony did not agree. Then the high priest stood up before them and asked Jesus, “Have you no answer? What is it that they testify against you?” But he was silent and did not answer. Again the high priest asked him, “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?”
Jesus said, “I am; and ‘you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of the Power,’ and ‘coming with the clouds of heaven.’” Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, “Why do we still need witnesses? You have heard his blasphemy! What is your decision?” All of them condemned him as deserving death. Some began to spit on him, to blindfold him, and to strike him, saying to him, “Prophesy!” The guards also took him over and beat him.

When I read this section, I feel so much grief that I want to turn away from the text. I cannot change the story and I know what is coming, so instead, I would like to shut my eyes to it. It is the way to intellectual self-preservation, for me, to pull myself out of the story and just look at the details. If I stay with the "mind" questions- what's up with the naked guy, is that really blasphemy, why a kiss?- then I can pull away from the pain I feel in my body when I read this. 

When I say the pain I feel in my body, I don't mean like like daily aches and pains or the sharp acuteness of an injury. I mean, that as I read this story, my chest tightens, my eyes burn, and I feel an emotional wrenching that I would really prefer to stop. I don't like these sensations. If I escape "into my head", I am able to ignore the physical experience, but then I am not grappling with the whole body reality of this story. 

When I take a moment to engage the spiritual exercise of Jesuit Imaginative Prayer, I breathe myself into the story. I am so shocked at how many people are around me. I am surprised by how the feeling in the courtyard feels similar to the psychic energy in our own time of violence, power struggle, and helplessness within those watching who wish to act. I am overcome by the awareness that I cannot help Jesus. Simultaneously, I am washed with the knowledge that I can help someone else in the crowd. 

The story is around me, not just in front of me. Jesus' betrayal, trial, and desertion don't just affect him; they are having a powerful effect on others who are watching, who had hoped, whose breath is bated. 

Is this something that I do often- believe that I am watching Jesus, but failing to see where He is in the people around me? In the crowd, when I looked away from the spectacle, I saw people watching outside the courtyard. There were people who were excluded from society, deemed unclean. There were those who hoped for healing and those who just wanted be seen. There were those whose anger masked their hurt and those who were too hurt to care anymore. 

There was a time collapse for me in how similar the situation was to any crowd (in physical space or online) in contemporary life. 

Normally I would write my reflection questions here, but this spiritual exercise was very intense. Trying to write questions now would be putting an artificial stop to what I am feeling and thinking. I don't want to do that. I encourage you, in your own practice today, to pay attention to what arises within your body and your mind. Both parts matter because both parts make up who you are and the wholeness of you, whom God loves and has saved. 


God of peace, open 
My eyes to your beloved  
So that I might grow.

amen. 

Holy Wednesday (3/28)

MARK 14:32-42: They went to a place called Gethsemane; and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be distressed and agitated. And he said to them, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and keep awake.” And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. He said, “Abba, Father, for you all things are possible; remove this cup from me; yet, not what I want, but what you want.” He came and found them sleeping; and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not keep awake one hour? Keep awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words.  And once more he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy; and they did not know what to say to him. He came a third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Enough! The hour has come; the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Get up, let us be going. See, my betrayer is at hand.”

When I reflect on this passage, I am deeply moved by Jesus' honesty. It's not like I expect the Savior to be a liar, but so often we don't speak the whole truth to one another or to God. We attempt to deceive ourselves (and others), knowing deeply that God knows the truth of us (and still loves us). 

Jesus pours out his fear and grief in this prayer. Does he know exactly what is coming or is he speculating, combining his dread with what he has seen in the years of religious leaders' oppression and Roman occupation? He does not attempt to reframe what he is feeling with quick platitudes about how it will turn out okay or work for the best or even that the Father has not given the Son more than he can handle. He is stricken, scared, and alone. 

His friends do not fully understand his thoughts and feelings, in part because they do not fully comprehend who Jesus is and what he is about. I am grateful, grateful for Jesus' own sake, that the disciples are too tired and stressed to stay awake. It means they're too tired to be like Job's unhelpful friends or to tell Jesus that he's exaggerating or even to turn the narrative about them and their feelings. 

This section narrows its focus on Jesus and his current reality- that a huge sacrifice is coming and that in a fully human body, with human emotions and human logic, it is going to hurt in many and various ways. Is there another way? Any other way? 

How many times have I been in a time of pain, a dark night of the soul, the valley of the shadow of death and wanted out? I have tried bargain with God, tried to reframe and accept, attempted to stuff my feelings. It is the rare occasion that I have said, "Not what I want, but what You want." 

I confess that I have even, on occasion, told God what God wants. I have taken scripture in hand and said, "You have said THIS, now I claim it for my brother, my sister, my son, my husband, my parishioner, my home, my finances,..." That's not exactly submitting to God's will. 

Do I have it in me to imitate Christ in one of his most human moments? Can I be honest about what I feel with the God who already knows it? Can I yield to the mystery of Divine Will, trusting in the plan and future and keeping my eyes open for the forces that oppose God? Do I actually want the holy concession of having my spirit and flesh in alignment with the Spirit and the Word? 

Holy God, help me to be honest with you in my prayers. You wait patiently for me to stop my attempts at control. My heart is restless until it comes to a holy quiet in your peace. Amen.  

Holy Monday (3/26/18)

MARK 14:1-15 It was two days before the Passover and the festival of Unleavened Bread. The chief priests and the scribes were looking for a way to arrest Jesus by stealth and kill him; for they said, “Not during the festival, or there may be a riot among the people.”

While he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at the table, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very costly ointment of nard, and she broke open the jar and poured the ointment on his head. But some were there who said to one another in anger, “Why was the ointment wasted in this way? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii, and the money given to the poor.” And they scolded her. But Jesus said, “Let her alone; why do you trouble her? She has performed a good service for me. For you always have the poor with you, and you can show kindness to them whenever you wish; but you will not always have me.  She has done what she could; she has anointed my body beforehand for its burial. Truly I tell you, wherever the good news is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will be told in remembrance of her.”

Then Judas Iscariot, who was one of the twelve, went to the chief priests in order to betray him to them. When they heard it, they were greatly pleased, and promised to give him money. So he began to look for an opportunity to betray him.

On the first day of Unleavened Bread, when the Passover lamb is sacrificed, his disciples said to him, “Where do you want us to go and make the preparations for you to eat the Passover?”  So he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go into the city, and a man carrying a jar of water will meet you; follow him, and wherever he enters, say to the owner of the house, ‘The Teacher asks, Where is my guest room where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’ He will show you a large room upstairs, furnished and ready. Make preparations for us there.”

 There are two things on which I would like to reflect about this section of Mark 14. The first is about the concern regarding the cost of the nard and the second is about Judas' betrayal. It is easy to skim the Bible passage and assume that you know all the details.I encourage you to read the verses out loud to yourself and to ponder the details that both included and excluded. 

In Mark's version of the anointing woman story, Jesus is in the house of a man who has a type of skin disease characterized as leprosy. He's already in a place that may well have made his disciples uncomfortable. Why is Jesus in the house of this man who would have been considered unclean? Why are other people willing to eat in that place, breaking those rules, but then find this woman's action a bridge too far? 

This woman has a gift that she has likely saved for a long time. If it is not for her own burial, it is probably for someone in her family. Yet she sees Jesus and feels the strong urge of the Spirit to spend out what she has saved up on him. She makes a costly sacrifice of her nard and her pride to appear before the group of dining men and anoint Jesus for who she sees and perceives him to be. 

Many who witness this self-sacrificing act are aghast. Are they embarrassed to be seen in the house of a leper? Are they feeling guilty because they have hesitated to spend out for Jesus? Are they seeking to shame this woman for this specific action or for presumed actions in her past or present?

They are acting as gatekeepers- determining not only dinner party etiquette, but also other people's stewardship. The woman has not followed the proper "channels" for offerings, but has proven generous perhaps beyond what the others gathered are willing to do. Unable to sit with their own feelings of discomfort and uncertainty, they lash out at her and at Jesus for allowing her generous and sacramental act. 

What does gate-keeping look like in your life, your community, or your congregation? Are there unwritten expectations that people are shamed for not understanding? Is there a community hierarchy based on money, talents, or time in place? Are there excuses made (we could have done this for the poor, if s/he/they hadn't...)? Do you hold yourself back from the generosity to which you are called because of your own internal gate-keeping around fear, grief, worry, or habit? 

Secondly, as I read this out loud, I saw the end of the sentence about Judas: "in order to betray him to them." I thought about "to them". Judas is not the only betrayer. The complainers in the first part betrayed Jesus by rejecting not only what he had taught them about generosity, but also by not paying attention to what the Father and the Spirit had shown them about who Jesus was. 

Betrayal may not always be active, like Judas seeking out the chief priests. Betrayal can also be passive. When we sin by omission, staying quiet when we should speak, accepting the status quo rather than working for change, resigning ourselves to evil instead of forceful renunciation... these are betrayals of Jesus, denying his call, his claim, and his conversion of our hearts and minds. 

 

God of grace and hope, we give you thanks for your healing work that we celebrate in this Holy Week- work of forgiveness and resurrection. Open us to the Spirit's leading- away from our gate-keeping habits and into new ways of being your people in the world you love. Forgive us for our every day betrayals of your commands and guide us into the holy and whole living that is a life in imitation of Christ. We give thanks for your faithfulness as you revealed it to the whole world through Jesus, our Savior and Lord, in whose name we pray. Amen. 

There Will Always Be Monsters



Octopus made from rescued trash from the ocean,
Sea Life Center, Seward, Alaska

I have come to realize that there will always be monsters.
 
The pain and surreal nature of the unexpected cancer diagnosis,

The incomplete healing from a surgical solution,

The seemingly perfect call that ends with spears in the most tender places,

The omnipresence of the dis-ease of addiction,

The posturing and threats of those in power, with little to no thought of those who are watching, waiting, and worried about their decisions.

Until the physical return of Christ,

Until the zenith of sanctification,

Until the completion of the fullness of resurrection…

There will be monsters.

However,

They have not earned a share of my heart space.

They get no more air than what it takes to utter that I turn them over to God.

They are not granted permission to live in the spaces where joy dwells and hope presides.

There may be monsters, but I will not sing their song.

And they do not get to plant their flags in my heart.



Original post at revgalblogpals.org as Friday Prayer on 1/19/18.

Confession for Healing from Racism

This was written for Stand Against Racism: A Community Prayer Vigil sponsored by the congregations of Anchorage Faith and Action- Congregations Together and three other congregations, including Congregation Beth Sholom. 

The base idea for this litany came from the ELCA's Service for the same purpose. 

In some religious traditions, confession is used a kind of internal housecleaning. Confessing one’s sins- things done and left undone, said and left unsaid- clears the spiritual detritus from one’s heart and mind and better helps a person perceive the truth and guidance of God. Confession to God does not eliminate the need to confess and seek forgiveness from one’s family, friends, or neighbors. Like physical housecleaning, spiritual housekeeping is best done sooner rather than later and with a whole-hearted effort. Confessing together helps us to acknowledge that none of us is any worse or any better than the other, especially before the One who Made All Things.

Gracious God, you are the source of all that is, was, and ever will be. We give you thanks for making one human family of all the peoples of the earth. We praise you for creating a wonderful diversity of cultures.

Enrich our lives by ever-widening circles of fellowship

and show us your presence in those who differ most from us.

From the bondage of racism that denies the humanity of people based on their skin color or ancestry,

God, we want to be free!

From the lies of history that imply a hierarchy between cultures, classes, or genders,

God, we want to be free!

From the grip of silence in the face of white supremacy, bigotry, and false equivalencies,

God, we want to be free!

We humbly ask for forgiveness for how we have failed to acknowledge the presence and work of your wisdom.

Be merciful to us, O God!

We humbly ask forgiveness for our silence when we should have spoken, our nervous laughter in times of discomfort, and our doubling down in wrong behavior because we are afraid of change.

Be merciful to us, O God!

We humbly ask forgiveness for the history of racism, religious discrimination, and injustice that many of us have benefited from and that most of us have perpetuated in intentional and unintentional ways.

Be merciful to us, O God!

Guide us in the work of reconciliation, relinquishing of privilege, and lifting up of all people.

God of grace, unite us to your will!

Guide us toward relationships and fellowships that build peace, promote justice, and reward humility.

God of grace, unite us to your will!

Guide us toward the words and actions that will resist racism and hatred and will dismantle their false power.

God of grace, unite us to your will!

Listen

If I was taking a walk with You, I’d say, “It turns out there isn’t a limit to how frustrated I can get. Or how many bad decisions people can make. Is there no bottom?”

I think you would be silent.

We would walk on and I would get exasperated.

Yes, with You.

“Are you going to say anything?” I will ask.

Stride, stride, stride. Pause.

“I am.”



Originally written for and posted at RevGalBlogPals.org, 5/19/17.