Here's What I'd Say

“Here is what I would say to you if it wouldn’t hurt your feelings.” This is a popular construct right now in social media posts and in short-form publishing. The set-up is usually a specialist from a medical field or an expert in a given research field, appealing to the viewer to consider an idea or ideas in a different light. “Here is what I would say if it wouldn’t hurt your feelings.” The posts are an effort to counteract “general wisdom” or “accepted knowledge” and to present additional information and research that may lead to a better health outcomes or improved quality of life.

Each time I see it, I consider what my video would be. How would I complete the premise, “Here is what I would say if it wouldn’t hurt your feelings.” Contrary to popular belief, I do try to be gentle in teaching and, most of the time, in preaching. Harshness gains no ground for the gospel. I do pull some punches.

So, should I do it? Should I say the thing that I desperately want you to hear? To understand? To ponder in your heart, turning it over and over until it becomes a smooth touchstone?

Here is what I would say if it wouldn’t hurt your feelings: we don’t have enough imagination about God.

We don’t think big enough. We don’t let enough things be awesome and mysterious. We don’t sit in our questions long enough. We do not imagine a great enough mercy, an amazing enough grace, a broad enough welcome, a long enough table with more than enough seats.

We sing about it, but then let it go, fading with the music. We dream about it but then make the shape of our church life what it has always been, instead of trying something new- rooted in the dream. We pray for it but then do not act- as though prayers are only about words and not equally about deeds.

Here is what I would say if it wouldn’t hurt your feelings: we don’t have enough imagination about God.

What do I mean by that?

In today’s gospel reading, we have one of the “seven last words of Christ”. These are the phrases that Jesus says from the cross, recorded across the four gospels.

All seven are: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”, “Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother”, “I thirst”, “Why have you forsaken me”, “Today you will be with me in paradise”, “Into your hands, I commit my spirit”, and “It is finished”.

Why would any of these be chosen for Christ the King Sunday? How do any of these fit in with the broad understanding of the Reign of Christ, particularly in the face of nationalism and secularism, which are why this day was established in 1925? Why, especially, would the chosen “word” be the ones said to a criminal, deemed worthy of the death penalty by an occupying army?

And what does this have to do with having more imagination about God?

You ask good questions.

Of the seven last words, “Today you will be with me in paradise” are the only ones that can actually be said by the Son of God. I am not saying these are the only words of Jesus. What I am saying is that the other six could be said by anyone, anywhere, including any king or ruler.

“I thirst”, “Woman, behold your son”, and “Why have you forsaken me” are all very human statements in the face of torture and death. To be worried about the care of a survivor or to experience bodily need when in pain can happen to anyone. They both do all the time. Feeling a separation from God, despite knowing the closeness of the Divine, is a reality we all know. This is why we resonate with Jesus’ anguish in that cry.

“Into your hands, I commit my spirit” and “It is finished” are the utterances of any person, regardless of power, who has come to peace with the end of their life in this plane and who is accepting of what is to come. Sometimes these words are said with the lips and sometimes they are spoken in the heart.

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” This one feels more specific to Jesus. Yet, anyone who hopes for another person to experience the grace of God can pray this. A benevolent leader can pray this. A suffering martyr can pray this. We can pray this while watching or reading the news. Jesus gives us the words and permission to refer to Infinite Love as our Holy Parent.

The only word from the cross that could only come from the Son of God is “Today you will be with me in paradise”. This word of consolation and hope can only be uttered by One who absolutely knows where He will be and where the other person will be as well.

In the middle of great suffering, while experiencing pain and humiliation, Jesus has the capacity to see and perceive the deepest need of the man next to him, a man who undergoing the same pain and humiliation. And it is Jesus alone who has the authority to declare what will happen next. “Today you will be with me in paradise” is not a statement of faith from his lips; it is statement of fact.

This is why we have this reading today for the observance of Christ the King. We can be easily distracted by the way human beings throw around their earthly power. We can be razzle dazzled and misled. We can also be fooled by how leaders can manipulate us with pockets of awareness or humility, while calculating political points.

King Jesus, hanging on a cross, does many human things, but also does a thing only God can. Jesus alone moves us from life to life.

Today you will be with me in paradise. Not after your confirmation. Not after a sinner’s prayer. Not after a specific ritual. Not after you agonize over your worthiness and confess again and again and wonder if you’re really forgiven.

Today you will be with me in paradise.

And this brings me back to what I would say to you if it wouldn’t hurt your feelings.

We need to have a bigger imagination about God.

We need to think bigger. We need to let more things be awesome and mysterious. We need to sit in our questions long enough. We need to imagine a great enough mercy, an amazing enough grace, a broad enough welcome, a long enough table with more than enough seats. And we need to let that expansion fuel our life together and our life in the world.

When we nail God down to being about the success of our team- whether sports, political, or otherwise… When we box God in by our traditions and “the way it’s always been”… When we go through the motions of habits as though they are sufficient for spiritual practice…

When we confine the meaning of our faith in Jesus to being our “get out of hell free” card, he is not our king. He becomes no more than a token and our faith is nothing more than magical thinking.

But when we allow ourselves to truly be in awe of the majesty and might of God, when we permit ourselves to believe in One who could definitively say, without preconditions, “Today you will be with me in paradise”, when we perceive the fire of the Spirit still burning in the world, still bringing order out of chaos, still causing scales to fall from eyes…

When we realize that we do not hold God, but that we are being held by God…

Then we will understand the reign of Christ:

we will know what it means to serve a king with joy and devotion,

we will no longer ask “who is my neighbor” because we will see all people as neighbor and sibling.

I don’t want to hurt your feelings. We don’t have enough imagination about God.

And the world that God so loves needs us to grasp that God’s facts- facts of justice, mercy, peace, inclusion, hope, and promises made and kept – God’s facts are bigger than anyone’s imagination.

When we realize that… that day will be paradise.

 

Inspired by the Breath of God

Dear Pastor-

At our next Bible study, could you say a little something about your understanding of "God-breathed" and the relationship of that phrase to scripture?

- Inquiring Minds Want to Know


Dear IMWTK-

Firstly, it's unlikely that I'll ever say a "little" something regarding anything related to the Bible, but I will try to contain myself.

When I look to the word theopneustos, I find the word and the concept awe-inspiring. Theo for God and pneustos for breathed means a vision of how God moves and exists that includes bringing creation into existence. Theopneustos makes me think of the Spirit, as the Breath of God, moving over the void at the beginning of all things. Out of disorder and emptiness, creation was birthed and shaped. God's whole self poured out in breath (Spirit) and then in Word ("Let there be..."). Thus, the reality of theopneustos has existed since before any human was present to interpret it.

That being said, what does it mean for Breath and Word to come to a prophet (or an apostle)? In Geraldine Brooks's The Secret Chord, the prophet Nathan experiences near blackout states when he is called upon to speak to David. His body and his speech are overtaken and his voice becomes not his own. In this depiction, his prophecies are clearly God-breathed. Given some of the things that Nathan is called upon to address with David, surely the strength and the words needed to come from outside himself. Did they always? I don't know.

In writing for preaching, I sometimes have a strong bodily awareness of what I meant to say. I describe it as a piercing of my heart. I have a sense of what is meant to be said and, in the best times, the words come in close connection to the piercing. Sometimes the idea comes, but I have to wait for the words. When I have to deliver a sermon that has come in this way, I tremble before delivery because I know the concept is not mine. I don't want to mess up or try to take credit for what God is trying to do or what I have perceived that God is trying to do.

In these two examples, Nathan and me (never heretofore mentioned in the same sentence), God is delivering a word. There is a revelation of what the Spirit wants to be communicated and it is in keeping with who Jesus is and God's on-going self-revelation. Nothing a prophet or preacher is called to say, if it is truly of God, will contradict the nature of God- even the most intense and life-changing revelation.

That being said, neither Nathan nor I can testify to something we are unable to perceive. So, it is true that God inspires and gives revelation, but said revelation and inspiration, in my opinion, is likely only half-steps ahead of where we are as people. Thus, it seems unlikely that Nathan would have received inspiration for where the capital of England should be or that I will receive inspiration for how to terraform Saturn. Those are not revelations that are meaningful or relevant to the situations to which we have been called.

When scribes were writing Judges or Paul was writing to the Philippians or Revelation was being written for the encouragement of the early church, it does seem likely that theopneustos was at work. God breathed words and guidance for the authors to offer to their audiences. While it is with God's nature to know how long Paul's letters would last, it was not within Paul's capabilities to write for the ages. So God gave him words that were true for the time being and would be useful, alongside the Holy Spirit, for generations to come.

Of course, when we think of scripture, we think of the editors, the redactors, the translators, the scribes, and the church fathers and mothers who prayed about what to keep in the canon and what to reject. While the Spirit certainly guided all this work, human fallibility is unavoidable. In the best of circumstances, small unintended mistakes were made. In the worst of circumstances, intentional errors were made or kept for the purposes of preserving this or that human understanding or institution.

Therefore, in its initial imprint, the scripture was breathed by God for teaching, admonition, correction, and training in righteousness all toward the end of instructing us toward understanding salvation and living lives which demonstrate that we belong to God (2 Timothy 3:16).

Since that initial writing or prophesying, however, many people have entered the process. Most people have had good intentions toward sharing the word of God, but others have been less pure in heart. It is true that God is still speaking. The Word has not retired nor has the Spirit stopped moving. We are led constantly into relationship with the written word for the purposes of teaching, admonition, etc. to the same ends as those who receive guidance from the author of 2 Timothy. We use the Bible as a tool to understand God, to know God's history, and to be pointed to where and how God is still at work in the world and leading the faithful to participation in that work.

In my opinion, when and where it is argued that the written word is infallible, such arguments attempt to steal the air out of theopneustos. The written word can be inspired, useful, important, and necessary, but it is not and never will be God. Furthermore, God is bigger than our translation mistakes, printing errors, and personal whims tied to time and place. God's desires for creation are truth and the truth will out. And it will set us free. Theopneustos cannot be contained.

Dare I Ask (Dare! Dare!)

Maybe you have a question about one of these topics? 

I would like to emphasize how much I appreciate questions. As a pastor, questions help me to know how people are thinking around me. They point me to information that I might have that I could share. They provide a path for me to encourage discernment by and wisdom gathering in others.

I have previously answered questions here and here. These aren't two "good" questions. They were genuine questions that people asked of me and gave me time to ponder my answer.

Recently I did "Ask a Pastor Anything" or "Pastor in the Hot Seat" with a confirmation class. The group of 11-14 year (and a couple adults) asked the following questions:

- Were there any conflicts between people who believe in religion and people who believe in science? If so, what happened?

- What is theodicy?

- Could God have said things much differently and we misunderstood his teaching or mistranslated his ideas and, therefore, some things seen negatively could've been positive? (sic)

- What happens to people when they die?

- In Revelation, God speaks through John to tell us about the "overcomers" who rule/reign with Christ for a thousand years. Who are the "overcomers"?

- Is there resurrection for everyone?

- Have Lutherans ever tried to force their religion on other people, when they're missionaries or anything? (sic)

- Where did Jesus die?

- When was the Holy Bible made?

- Why should I care about being a Christian at all? What's in it for me? Why is this important?

- When were you baptized?

- The Bible says women should remain silent in church- why, then, do we ordain women?


These are good questions. Most of them reflect the internal struggles of the asker, but almost everyone present was curious about the answer. Perhaps you, too, are curious about some of the answers.

There's another "Ask a Pastor Anything" event coming up at Lutheran Church of Hope on Wednesday evening, 4 April (6:15 pm). In the meantime, you can always put a question in the comments or email one to me (lcohpastor@alaska.net). People at the event will have the benefit of being able to ask anonymously, but I never publish names with questions if you send one via email.

Jesus never punished anyone for asking questions. God encourages our desire for knowledge and understanding. The Spirit draws us together that we might learn from each other.

Question about Prayer

Question: I'm stuck thinking about prayer because the logic doesn't seem to work. If God does not inflict illnesses or accidents, why do we pray for Him to keep us safe or to heal a loved one. Yet we pray for healing or recovery or safe travels all the time at church. If we are not saying “don't pick me with a life-altering disaster” or “skip us with cancer,” is it proper to pray “keep us safe”? Because it seems like I'm asking, “Don't let/make bad things happen to me” . . . and God doesn't cause bad things to happen to us which is where I started.

Or is the only correct supplication, “Be with us when the inevitable terrors of life and death come”? What am I missing? Thank you.

Dear Child of God- 

This question about prayer is excellent, thoughtful, and something to which I can greatly relate. We end up in a very tough spot when we try to make our faith or faith actions logical. There is a certain amount of reason that is absolutely necessary and (I believe) encouraged by God. However, it only gets us so far. The other part of our faith and trust in God is not based in our intellectual understanding or assent, but in pure trust in God’s own “God-ness” if you will. In the reality that God is God and we are not. To lean into and rest upon the faith that has been poured out for us by the Holy Spirit takes enough quieting of the mind without making it harder for ourselves in all the ways that we are prone to do. 

Ultimately, our prayers are “Be with us when the forces that oppose You seem to have taken control. Do not let me succumb to fear or idolatry. Keep your grace ever before me.” The things that we renounce at a baptism or affirmation thereof are real - external “powers and principalities” (Ephesians 6:12) and our own internal struggles (see: the 10 commandments). The life of our faith is working to remember, to see, and to share that the Lord our God is the one God who has chosen to manifest in Jesus (the Christ) and in the work of the Holy Spirit… and that is just in the ways that we perceive. 

It is certainly worthwhile to pray all the things on our hearts- keep us free from cancer, heal this person quickly, comfort those who are fleeing oppression, bring peace to the Middle East. Yet, in our understanding of prayer, we have to remember not make it (prayer) its own idol, believing that the words themselves are protection as talismans or as invitation, if said correctly. We pray to deepen our relationship, to be part of the ongoing conversation (which means listening as well), and to become more aware of God’s presence in our lives. 

The toughest, toughest thing to grasp is that God is truly unknowable and that God’s ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). Why do we start so many prayers with a reminder list of what God has done before? Is it because God needs reminding or because we do? If, God forbid!, you did get cancer of some sort, would you believe that it was God’s desire for you? Some people prefer to make sense of the world in that way, because that understanding gives things more order and thus they feel more in control. Control- our control- is always an illusion that we use to keep fear (and its companion, despair) at bay. If God is who we believe God is… then we do not actually have any control at all and the illusion that we do is an idol. (Stupid idolatry! It’s all over the place!)

Thinking of The Screwtape Letters, I believe that intellectualizing our prayer life is one way that the forces that oppose God attempts to build on our fears… not our doubts… but our fears. After all, faith is not action without doubt, but action in spite of doubt. As our lives change, the style or type of prayer that worked for us before may need tweaking or complete overhaul, but our need for that connection, conversation, and mystic communion is still very real. 

I don’t believe there is a correct supplication. There is only a correct attitude: “I am not You. Your ways are not my ways. Help me to see where you are working in the world around me. I’m afraid of…. I long for…. I lift up…. I believe….” And then you follow all that with “I’m listening.” 

I hope this helps. 

Peace, 

Pastor Julia

Future Tense

I'm currently at the Collegeville Institute in Minnesota for a writing workshop week.

We are using building that once was called the Ecumenical Institute, where work to unite churches and faithful people was done with earnestness and great hope.

Today is also the Feast Day for St. Columba, among others, who helped to bring the Christian faith and establish its roots in Scotland (and elsewhere in Britain). I have been to Iona Abbey, one of the monasteries associated with Columba. The pictures here are from Iona.

Listening to crickets chirping, loons calling, and seeing an actual sunset out my window (doesn't happen in AK this time of year), I am thinking of those whose faithfulness makes our lives possible.

God's provision for the future through the faithful is moving and provocative. What am I doing on a daily or even semi-regular basis that God may use to improve lives in the future? The reality is I may never know. But I remain committed to sharing the gospel, to seeking Christ in my neighbor, and pursuing the well-being of all. In that action is a life and in that life there is all the future that will be- ever in God's hands.

Ask A Pastor Anything

In preparing for our church's booth for Anchorage Pridefest, we made this sign. It was meant to be more tongue-in-cheek than fundraiser. We laughed and even the church visitors who saw it chuckled.

Once it was out of the church building, though, it didn't get many laughs. In fact, it received a lot of frowns. "I have a question," one guy said. "But I don't want to pay." 

It occurred to me that many people who are outside of the church often assume the main motive of the church is to make money. We weren't winning friends here; we were ending conversations before they started.

I covered the "pricing" with paper and tape. Once all that could be seen was "Ask a Pastor Anything", the questions flowed. 

Today, I listened to the following questions, some accompanying stories, and did my best to represent a flawed institution and a perfect God.

What does faith mean to you?

What's a pastor?

Do I have to believe everything exactly right first?

How do I know if I am gay or straight?

Is there a trans-friendly church in Anchorage?

What do you think about hell?

How do I talk to my parents about who I am?

How do I let go of a hurtful past in the church?

How do I start to pray?

Who can help me with my housing situation?

How do I begin to hope again?

Do you have on-line services? 

Where are the porta-potties?

Will I ever feel at peace in a church again? 

With other people from Lutheran Church of Hope, we handed out stickers, apology cards, and bubbles. We listened, laughed, prayed, and represented. We said "I don't know" and "I am sorry" and "You are loved". 

Someone gave us a dollar. 

It was worth it. 

Ask Away

Today I knew about a barbecue within my circle of friends. A couple people mentioned it to me yesterday (Thursday).

My Fourth of July plans, as of this morning- July 4, consisted of playing with my kids and waiting for my husband to return from a two day hike. I wanted to celebrate and be with other people, but I didn't want to put anyone out or show up where I (or my kids) wasn't (weren't) wanted.

So... to call or not to call and ask about the party.

Even with all the ways we have to contact one another these days, I am surprised how often people seem unwilling to ask other people for help. I know several people in the congregation who don't want to ask others for assistance during difficult times because they don't want to "put anybody out".

I recently had a conversation with a woman regarding a basic situation of church grounds maintenance (weeding) that she believed needed to be done, but was a bit beyond her. "Why don't you call a few people and ask them if they can help out?" I suggested.

"I shouldn't have to ask. They should volunteer. What's the world coming to when people have to be asked to help out?" This was her response. The tone in person was about how it reads in print.

It's funny. God certainly knows all our thoughts, our desires, our fears, our joys, and our longings. If there is Anyone who does not need asking to know about a situation, it is God. Yet, Jesus reminds us that we are indeed supposed to ask for what we need and desires (Matthew 7:7)

Do we obey this? Do we ask God for what we want? Do we bargain like Abraham, grieve like Samuel, and dance like David before the Lord? Do we weep like Hagar, listen like Deborah, and rejoice like Mary?

Do we ask?

What do we expect to get from God, much less anyone else, if we don't ask?

Asking, in the end, isn't even necessarily about wish fulfillment, but about communication in relationship. Meeting the needs of others- the mutuality of hope and shared experience- is how we come to understand what it means to be human. From that, we come to a better knowledge of why and how God was as one of us in Jesus.

Ask- even Jesus asked the Father for what he needed, wanted, and even wished for.

I texted the hostess around 10 am and asked if it would be okay if I came to the barbecue, allowing that it was totally okay if she already had a full list or it just wasn't a good fit this time.

She texted back, apologizing, because she thought we had already received an invite and just weren't coming. She requested that we bring dessert and I revamped our plans for the day to get the kids to take a nap and to have time to make some brownies.

She could have said no. I could have stayed home and wished we had a place to celebrate our country's independence and groused about no invitations.

But I decided to embrace my humanity and ask.

Deck Chairs

Yesterday, I rearranged the chairs in the church sanctuary. Since the second Sunday in the Easter season (the 1^st Sunday after Easter), we’d been sitting in a circle with the altar inside the circle. Many people loved this arrangement. An smaller number of people hated it and there were a minority with no [expressed] opinion.

In an effort to be more visitor-oriented for the summer (our biggest visitor season), we moved the chairs back into their neat little rows. I did not put out as many rows as we had previously because we just don’t need that many chairs. We have moveable chairs and fixed pews. I arranged five rows of six chairs each on two sides (60 chairs). We also have four pews on each side, which could easily accommodate 5-6 people each. Let’s say 5. Thus, we easily have seating for 40 people in the pews.

Sixty plus forty is one hundred (100). We have available seating this Sunday for 100 people.

Last Sunday, at our regular service, we had 37 people.

 

37.

I thought about each of those 37 people as I arranged the chairs yesterday. The circle put us all closer together and made the space seem full and warm. This Sunday, forty people will be spread across seating for 100. The empty seats will be obvious.

And I arranged the chairs.

So frequently I am drawn into conversations about the shrinking church, about lowered attendance, about why people no longer make church a priority.

These are serious questions.

The answers are not really about the style of music or the kind of preaching or the kind of coffee or whether there is childcare.

All of those things are just a different arrangement of the chairs.

The truth is that the people who do regularly attend church (of whatever kind) have to be convinced that what is offered to them, what matters to them, could and would matter to other people. And then they have to act on that thought.

Our desire to see other people experience what we experience in church (if we experience something worth sharing) must be greater than our fear of rejection and failure.

We have to reject, forcefully- with the help of the Spirit, the forces that seditiously whisper the words “inevitable decline”, “too small to matter”, or “too old-fashioned” to oppose God and God's work. 

We can arrange the chairs in all kinds of ways.

But if we believe that the message of Christ ever mattered, then we must move out in faith BECAUSE THE MESSAGE IS AS IMPORTANT NOW AS IT HAS EVER BEEN.

The message is as important now as it has ever been.

If we do not think it is worth sharing… worth conquering our fear… worth sinning boldly for… then it doesn’t matter. 

And it never did.

In that case, I have some chairs for sale. 

That's Not An Answer

Luke 13:1-9, 31-35

             Why do bad things happen to good people? Conversely, why do good things happen to people who seem evil? Why should a murderer have joy? Why should a gracious person experience deep grief? This is the question Jesus is confronted with in today’s reading. People want to know why God allowed the faithful Galileans to be killed.

            Jesus responds by asking if the people who were killed in the accidental falling of a tower were worse sinners and deserved to die. The questions that are being raised go all the way back to Job and beyond. We want to know why there is suffering in the world. We want to know why it comes to us and to those we love and to those we deem innocent.

            So, Jesus, ever helpful, answers these deep, heartfelt questions with a parable (everyone’s favorite). He speaks of a fig tree that is not producing fruit and the desire of the owner of the garden to cut it down, presumably to make space for a tree that will produce. The gardener gets the life of the tree extended by promising to rededicate effort to its growth for one more year.

            It is tempting to make a metaphor or an allegory out of this parable. To say that we are the tree(s), God is the owner, and Jesus is the gardener- bargaining for more time for us to produce fruit. However, that scenario pits the Father and the Son against each other, instead of seeing them work together out of love for all creation.

            Jesus does not say why bad things happen; he skips right over that question. We want the world to make sense- for bad things to happen to “bad” people or for bad things to happen as a direct correlation to bad actions. It is not so. God is in the center of all events, but not the immediate cause of all that happens. God is present in all pain and suffering, but not at the root of these things. Human freedom and freedom in the created order can, unfortunately, lead to pain and sadness. (What is freedom in the created order? It means that some things happen like the growth of cancer cells or natural disasters or freak accidents.)

            Knowing that God is present in all things, but not the cause of all situations, Jesus does not answer the questions that we ask, but instead gives us the direction and information that we need to know and to remember. Through the parable of the fig tree, Jesus reminds us that pain will happen to everyone. Everyone will experience loss. Everyone will make a bad decision and experience consequences, sometimes negative and sometimes not. Everyone will (most likely) die. And everyone will experience God’s judgment.

            Jesus is reminding his hearers- then and now- that there are things we do something about and things we cannot. For the fig tree, and for us, fruitlessness is not inevitable. Through the Holy Spirit, God is constantly shaping us… using the events that happen to us and around us to bring forth good things for our neighbors, our communities, our families, and… even for ourselves.

            God is with us as we weather life’s experiences, but then helps us to grow into the producers that we have the potential to be. When we reflect on God’s grace, then, we have to ask ourselves if and how we are producing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These things grow in us, by God’s help, and we are called to use them to mend the wounds in the world that are caused by bad choices, by poor use of freedom, by accidents, by the forces that oppose God and God’s good work.

            Instead of clearing up the mysteries of the ages, Jesus tells us that we are the answer to someone’s question. We are the answer to someone’s pain, to someone else’s inability to make ends meet, someone’s call for help, to the needs for justice, peace, and healing. Jesus reminds his disciples, his hearers, and those who would deride him that we can still produce this fruit without having all our questions answered.

            This is what it means to live in faith and to live together faithfully. Our life of faith is living together and living in the world until the time when we have all the answers, but the questions no longer matter. We are not brought together, we are not given faith, we are not believing for the answers. We are together, granted faith, and believing with the questions.

            Which does mean that we may become exasperated, on occasion with Jesus, with God, with the Spirit. We may yell. We may rend our clothing. But the difference between living in faith with doubt and not believing is revealed at the end of today’s reading. We can be with Herod, with the religious officials, with the people who demand answers or refuse reason, with those who reject Jesus. Or we can stand with Jesus, with the One who Saves, and say that we do not know all that we will know, but we know enough now, we trust enough now… to continue forward. We can say that we have received enough grace to sustain us into the next step. We can share with one another enough confidence that God is continuing to shape us, feed us, and nurture us into the producers of the fruits of the Spirit that the world so desperately needs.

            Jesus reminds us that, on this side of heaven, pain and death are going to happen. Judgment, God’s decisions toward us, is also inevitable. However, these things- separation, loss, and death- do not mean division from God. And they most assuredly do not mean inevitable unfruitfulness. The good news of God in Jesus the Christ is that God continues to use us for good, whether we know it or not. The world is changed through each of us, for Christ’s own sake. And we are gifted with the opportunities to be participants in God’s grace and creativity. We become co-workers and co-creators through the power of the Spirit.

            The Lenten season reminds us that the time to join with Jesus is now. We do so, invited by the grace we have already known. The promise of God in Christ to continue working in us so that we might bear fruit is the deepest measure of God’s grace. And while that grace does not answer all our questions, it helps us to live with our questions. The consolation of today’s reading is that we can live with questions and still live in faith.  

Gotta Serve Somebody

This week's reading from Joshua includes the famous verse:

 "Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amories in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, well will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:15) 

When I think of this verse, I consider the truth that we're never really choosing if we are going to have a god, we're constantly choosing what we will worship as god. Will we choose the God of creation, who has chosen us, or we will choose any number of lesser gods- whose glittering promises of health, wealth, and power are played like siren calls from all corners of the world? 

Whom will we serve? 

I keep hearing the words of the prophet, Bob Dylan, singing, "You gotta serve somebody..." It's not that we've gotta, it's that we're gonna... so whom will you choose? 

"Gotta Serve Somebody"

You may be an ambassador to England or France

You may like to gamble, you might like to dance

You may be the heavyweight champion of the world

You may be a socialite with a long string of pearls.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

It may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

Might be a rock'n' roll adict prancing on the stage

Might have money and drugs at your commands, women in a cage

You may be a business man or some high degree thief

They may call you Doctor or they may call you Chief.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

You may be a state trooper, you might be an young turk

You may be the head of some big TV network

You may be rich or poor, you may be blind or lame

You may be living in another country under another name.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes 

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

You may be a construction worker working on a home

You may be living in a mansion or you might live in a dome

You might own guns and you might even own tanks

You might be somebody's landlord you might even own banks.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes 

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

You may be a preacher with your spiritual pride

You may be a city councilman taking bribes on the side

You may be working in a barbershop, you may know how to cut hair

You may be somebody's mistress, may be somebody's heir.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes 

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

Might like to wear cotton, might like to wear silk

Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk

You might like to eat caviar, you might like to eat bread

You may be sleeping on the floor, sleeping in a king-sized bed.

But you're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

It may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

You may call me Terry, you may call me Jimmy

You may call me Bobby, you may call me Zimmy

You may call me R.J., you may call me Ray

You may call me anything but no matter what you say.

You're gonna have to serve somebody, yes indeed

You're gonna have to serve somebody,

Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord

But you're gonna have to serve somebody.

My Hour with Thomas

On the second Sunday in Easter, our church observed Bright Sunday (or Holy Humor Sunday)- extending our resurrection celebration. In addition to kazoos, jokes, and laughter, we had an interview with the apostle, Thomas.

Good morning, everyone, and thank you for joining me today on Theology in the Morning with…Pastor Julia! We’ll have a special food giveaway later this hour, but right now let’s meet our special guest. You may know him as the Eeyore of the disciples or the famous doubter, but let’s welcome… Thomas the Apostle!

Thank you so much for coming today. How do I address you? None of you apostles seemed to come with a last name.

Thomas is fine.

Thank you for that. Well, let’s get to it. I think the first question we’d all like an answer to is: Where were you when Jesus showed up that first time?

You know, Pastor Julia. If I’m willing to do the time and space travel it takes to come here and answer questions for you and these other fine folks today, I’d think you’d come up with a better first question. Everyone wants to know and what are you going to say if I tell you that it was my turn to empty the dirt pot (if I may be subtle)… or that I had gone out to get more bread or wine… or that it was just pretty rank in that room with 10 other scared men. Whatever I tell you is going to disappoint you, so all you need to know is that I wasn’t there. Can you live with that?

Wow! I must say, Thomas, I did not expect you to be so frank. I suppose…

It’s like this. I loved Jesus, still do. I mean, I see Him every day now, so can’t really complain. But three years of parables… that can make a man crazy. I wanted some plain talk and I don’t mind telling you that when he did get around to telling it like it was, it was hard to swallow. Since the resurrection, my goal is to tell the truth- straight up. No parables, no metaphors. Also, I don’t spend time on what doesn’t matter. Where I was doesn’t matter in this interview.

Well, thank you for your frankness. Moving on then, what did you think when the others told you that Jesus had been in the room with them?

Honestly, I thought they had all gone crazy together. We were so keyed up, scared, and jittery. It seemed possible that they had a group vision or something. What happened with Judas hit us all pretty hard. Not just because he had traveled with us and been a friend, we thought, but also because most of us understood that anyone of us could have easily done what he did. Maybe not in the same way or for the same reasons, but still… Anyway, when I came back and everyone was tripping over themselves to tell me about Jesus’ return. It was just too much. I’m sure you’ll want to list out the history of Thomas the doubter, but can anyone here tell me that you wouldn’t have said the same thing in the same circumstances?

I’m pretty sure I can’t say that I would have been different. So, what was it like when you did see Jesus?

What do you think it was like? I wanted to throw up and throw myself at his feet, all at the same time. Even after the crucifixion, even when we weren’t entirely sure what to believe about where his body was, we still knew the truth of what we had witnessed when we traveled with him. I still can hear Lazarus’ voice lifting out of that tomb. I can still see the stunned expression of blind men seeing for the first time, of people who walked, of people who heard and received a word of forgiveness. So, even when we as disciples didn’t know what to think… we had these powerful experiences to chew over with one another. Those experiences formed our understanding of Jesus and, in that upper room, none of us were willing to admit to thinking we might have been wrong, even though we all had that thought. And then he was there!

If I may interrupt, how did he come through that wall?

You may not interrupt. That’s not important to the story. However he did it, it was done! And there he was and I was terrified and thrilled and ashamed and gratified and… Even now, it’s too overwhelming to think. Suddenly, when he appeared, everything I knew came into place. The last rock in a wall. The opening move of a game. It was like the most powerful end and at the same time the most astounding beginning of any story, song, or even battle that you might see. Suddenly, I knew that this was my Rabbi, my teacher, and my God, THE God… right there. When he offered for me to touch him, I couldn’t dare. Moses only saw God’s backside and lived to tell about it. What would happen to lowly Thomas who asked for proof, got it, and then pressed his luck?

That’s such an amazing story, Thomas. We’re all curious about what you did next, but this is supposed to be a light-hearted Sunday. We’ve all been enjoying laughing and your story seems so heavy.

It’s not that heavy when you actually think about it. You don’t think there’s humor in it? Believe me, I laugh every time I consider that Jesus didn’t punish me for asking a question. He could have said, “Impudent wretch! Did you ever listen when I was talking?” But he was as kind and generous in resurrection as he ever been.

And, you, you dare to think that this is not a story of joy? What kind of interpreter of scripture are you? There are three gifts in that story and you get two of them. Jesus gives peace to all disciples, he gives proof to me, and he blesses those who won’t quite have the same experience I did. You get peace! AND a blessing! What more do you want?

Well, proof might be nice.

Proof! Ha! Proof is like the buzz of those kazoos that you were playing earlier. It’s great while it lasts, but then it grates on you. It takes your breath away and then leaves you empty of mystery. Proof gives you a tangible experience for a while, but it doesn’t allow for height and depth and breadth and range.

If you have proof, will you have peace? Will your questions end or will they increase? If you received proof, would you relinquish your blessing? The comfort of the Spirit? The experiences you have resurrection in communion and in community and in creation?

I don’t know, but doubting seems so…

What is doubt? It’s like proof, it comes and it goes. If you banish one question, another will arise. Your faith, God’s gift of faith to you, is not the absence of doubt. It’s action in spite of doubt. It’s moving forward, even while questioning. It’s closing a door, but knowing that Jesus just might come through the wall.  You’re learning as you go, just like I was. Just like Peter. Just like Andrew, James, John, and all the women who helped us along the way. But you have written accounts to help your faith. You have the promise and the presence of the Spirit. The resurrection has always been your reality.

And you have my story, my little story that you try to make big in all the wrong ways. What was I doing? How did he come through the wall? How about this?!? Jesus knew my questions, brought me the answer of his own body, did not strike me dead on the spot, and offered a blessing to everyone who doesn’t get what I got. How about that to make your Sunday bright? And your tomorrow? And the day after that?

Wow, Thomas, I don’t know how to thank you for coming in today. You’ve been an amazing guest. I’d like to talk to you more after the break about your life after the upper room, but first we have some messages from our sponsors. Folks, I just want to repeat something Thomas said: Your faith, God’s gift of faith to you, is not the absence of doubt. It’s action in spite of doubt. It’s moving forward, even while questioning. It’s closing a door, but knowing that Jesus just might come through the wall.

Amen