Which Way To Go

Drawn by Pastor Julia Seymour, 9/13/18

Unthinkable, But Required

I am a pastor of a small church- a church full of people whom I love and whom I greatly trust that God loves. On Sunday mornings, there may be any number of children and older people, this includes my own children and some of their best friends. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I would do if someone came in and began shooting.

I've analyzed what I could throw, how quickly I could get to any part of the sanctuary, and how much time I could buy for others by engaging with a shooter- hoping that my death through that engagement would buy others time to attack unseen, hide children, or escape. 

I move my cell phone around in the sanctuary- to be within my arm's reach- so that my last act prior to engagement would be to call 911. I worry about if I don't have time to do this and I may not, but it's part of my mental plan. 

I am a gun owner. I'm an okay shot, better than okay at close range. My husband has asked me, on more than one occasion, to keep a gun with me at church. 

Where? 

In the pulpit next to the Bible? 

In my pocket?

In a shoulder holster, under my diaphanous robe? 

In my purse, carrying said purse with me everywhere like Queen Elizabeth? 

I can't bear this. I cannot bear the thought yielding to my fears. There is making a plan and then there is introducing another problem into the situation. 

My need to have this plan and think these thoughts is not because God "isn't allowed in schools" or because of the use of psychological drugs or even because we have culturally determined that child sacrifice is preferable to some restrictions on gun ownership. 

The need to have this plan is because we have chosen as a culture to make guns our idol of choice. Believing their false promises of safety and self-determination, we have put them on a pedestal and worship them at the altar of unrestricted access and personal freedom. Our call to community living as a nation, cities, and smaller groups has been sublimated to believing that we are entitled to having what we want, when we want it and to extracting revenge and never dwelling for long in feelings of discomfort or pain. 

This is the direct result of patriarchy, white supremacy, and rape culture.

Let me be VERY CLEAR that I am not saying that everyone who owns guns rapes or is a white supremacist. 

I am, however, saying that we (almost all of us) have contributed to a culture where many people, especially white, cis-gendered, heterosexual men, have been socialized to an unhealthy level of entitlement regarding other people's bodies, property, and opportunities. And, through our gun idolatry, they see a cultural worship of tools that allow them to respond with deadly force when they do not get what they have been taught and believe they "deserve". 

This is a complex issue, but it isn't actually that complicated and it's not impossible to improve. 

But we have to want to. All of us have to want to. 

And until that happens, I will be preaching with a phone nearby, thinking about how far I can throw the large rock that sits on the altar, and praying that most of the congregation will be saved, even if I am not. 

How's that for your thoughts and prayers?

Six Cans

I realize these six cans don’t look like much, but they represent a big deal to me. I made dinner for a group tonight and I wasn’t entirely sure how many people were coming. I have a tendency to overestimate and overprepare, ending up with way more food than necessary. 

I have come to realize, though, that cooking too much is my attempt to control a situation. I want everyone to enjoy themselves and for the event to be perfect. This isn’t actually mine to control. Having too much food doesn’t guaratee a good time. It’s just a lot of food.

No one who was coming would likely be in danger of starving. And if someone came who I knew needed more food, I could help with that in a different way.Furthermore, having a good time is up to each person. I am not the guarantor of other people’s good times. (#truth)

So, four cans of black beans and two cans of vegetarian refried beans represent not only my desire to be a good hostess, but also my willingness to let go of the outcome. If we run out of beans, it will be okay. Fun can still be had. 

Who knew six cans of beans could mean so much? 

Christian Bill of Rights: Amendment V

Amendment V

The follower on the Way of Christ will not hold human institutions, including courts, governments, or social agencies, as sources of salvation or aids to sanctification. Those on the Way of Christ will, however, use all power and privilege to hold these institutions, adding the church catholic to them, to standards of justice and equity. Those on the Way are not in thrall to these institutions, but to the law of God- which is interpreted through the Living Word, the written word, and the on-going work of the Holy Spirit.

“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and correct them when you are alone together. If they listen to you, then you’ve won over your brother or sister. But if they won’t listen, take with you one or two others so that every word may be established by the mouth of two or three witnesses. But if they still won’t pay attention, report it to the church. If they won’t pay attention even to the church, treat them as you would a Gentile and tax collector.”  Matthew 18:15-17

Don’t spread false rumors. Don’t plot with evil people to act as a lying witness. 2 Don’t take sides with important people to do wrong. When you act as a witness, don’t stretch the truth to favor important people. 3 But don’t privilege unimportant people in their lawsuits either. Exodus 23:1-3

Then Jesus said to them, “Nations and kingdoms will fight against each other. There will be great earthquakes and wide-scale food shortages and epidemics. There will also be terrifying sights and great signs in the sky.  But before all this occurs, they will take you into custody and harass you because of your faith. They will hand you over to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors because of my name.  This will provide you with an opportunity to testify.  Make up your minds not to prepare your defense in advance.  I’ll give you words and wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to counter or contradict.  You will be betrayed by your parents, brothers and sisters, relatives, and friends. They will execute some of you.  Everyone will hate you because of my name.  Still, not a hair on your heads will be lost. By holding fast, you will gain your lives.

Midnight Sun Invocation

I was asked to give an invocation at the Midnight Sun Holiday Lunch on Friday, Dec. 16, 2016. The honored guest was Senator Lisa Murkowski. Senator Dan Sullivan and Representative Don Young were also in attendance. Giving an invocation is tricky because you're talking to God, but people can hear you.

I wrote out the prayer because I wanted to remember to cover everything that was important to me and I wanted to be sure to stay in my allotted time. I am sharing this with you because it might inspire your own prayers. 

Dear God, Holy Parent of all,
We gather today in this beautiful state, in a wonderfully diverse city, and we know that surely you are present here. Not only because you have promised to be where two or more or gathered, but we because we trust that there is a soft spot in the Divine Heart for Alaska as one of the best parts of your creation. 
We give you thanks for the opportunity to gather, to see old friends and to meet new ones. We look around and we remember those who are no longer with us and we commend them to you in their eternal rest in light. We rejoice for the ongoing work and community that comes out of this event. Bless us as we continue that work today and tomorrow and into another year.

Holy God, you already know the prayers of our hearts and minds, yet we lift them to you. We cannot stay silent in the face of war and threats of war around the world. The images of children, grieving families, beseeching refugees, and so much destruction are burned into our minds. We watch and we weep and we wonder where you are in all of this and what we can do in your name. Be with all who are working in war-torn regions- those who are offering medicine, shelter, education, those who are working for peace, for hope, for justice, those who donating, praying, and welcoming. Let your holy light shine into all these dark places and let us see that the darkness will not and cannot overcome it.

On our home front, we ask that your life light would bring healing to the divisions in our country, our state, our city, and our homes. Strengthen us to speak the truth and to hear it. Grant us to know, deep in our bones, like an unquenchable fire, what it means to stand with and for those who have been stripped of their voice, their power, their history, their choices, and their freedoms. Help us to remember that in the gospel according to John, Jesus spoke of having sheep in other folds. All people are our brothers and sisters in you. Grant that we may see them as such and work with them toward the healing and renewal of the earth, her people, and her resources.

We pray for those in power, especially those in elected positions who are tasked with the hard work of defending our Constitution, all Americans, and the resources of our great nation. We pray for those who do that task in the uniforms of the Armed Services, especially those who are away from the families and communities in this season.

Lastly, O God, you have told us to pray without ceasing, but people want to eat- so our prayers continue- with the power of the Holy Spirit- rising to you. Prayers for those in need. Prayers for our families and friends. Prayers about health and finances and homes and community. Prayers of joy and prayers of fear.

We lift all these to you and we trust that you hear them and that even now you are working in response, working for healing and restoration. We place all our hope and trust in your great faithfulness. Amen.