Eshet Chayil

It's been a hard week. In each still moment, my mind went back to Rachel Held Evans. I experienced the wishful thinking and grief again and again, as I would thinking, "Surely it's not true." How can she not laugh again? Hold her children again? Console her spouse, Dan?

Julia, you may tell me, she will do these things again in heaven. As true as that may be, it is not enough to stop the tide of unremitting sorrow that is swamping them and so many others now. Heaven is not meant to be a salve to stop earthly pain. It is the answer to the pain caused by the forces that oppose God, but it does not mean that pain is not real when it is experienced in this life.

I've literally thought about her body growing cold, her ashes or her dust, her 3-year-old wondering again where Mommy is, her husband replaying last words over and over. I think about the small anniversaries passing by at a horrible clip- last week she, a month ago she, two months ago she...

A friend pointed out that this is terrifying in many ways. It is, I agreed, because this is the kind of fluke risk we have not accepted. We have considered (or not considered) the risks of car travel, heart disease, breast cancer. We know that there are wars and even shootings in public places. We've weighed the effort to keep ourselves in good health and to balance our rest and our work.

We don't weigh the risk of a fluke medical situation when we go to the hospital to have something treated.

Even when we know the US has very poor maternal care, especially for black and brown women, we still assume most things will be fine.

An unusual reaction to medication, causing our brain to seize, is not in our catalog of worries.

Or it wasn't.

The way we make it as parents to simultaneously try to control everything and to accept that we control almost nothing. Rachel's death showed us that we aren't in control of things we hadn't even fever dreamed.

What can we do?

We can remind each other of the low chances of this kind of death and that it likely wasn't preventable.

We can work to prevent the deaths that can be eclipsed, especially with regard to maternity and maternal health.

We can promote the truth about vaccines and preventative medicine.

And we can assure one another that if the worst happens, we will always speak of them, we will mother their children, and we will not let their good legacy die.

I think that's what I need to hear today and what I will be telling the other women of valor whom I know.

And it's what I will say to Rachel when I see her. Or what I am telling her now, which she may already know.

The Tabitha of Our Time

When I was a kid, the term "dorkus" was not one of endearment. I distinctly remember my parents saying that my siblings and I shouldn't call one another that because Dorcas was woman in the Bible who did good things and was remembered well. I honestly cannot recall if I've ever actually met a Dorcas in name, but I have met many who emulated Dorcas/Tabitha (Acts 9) in spirit.

Dorcas was the woman's name in Greek and it was Tabitha in Aramaic. For the rest of this post I will refer to her as Tabitha. The only reason I bring up the Dorcas part of the story is because if Rachel Held Evans didn't actually write something about giggling as a child during that reading, I know that she would have done it. 

Rachel died early this morning, following complications from treatment of flu plus a UTI. She was four days older than me and left behind two very young children, a spouse (Dan), her family, close friends, extended support network, and a world that needed her writing. 

To me, RHE was the Tabitha of our time, strong in discipline and courageous in faith. I deeply resonated with her own pain at feeling rejected and eventually shut out of the evangelical faith of her childhood. Moreover, her willingness to continue to write, to speak, and to challenge powers and principalities of this world regarding so many issues was a genuine example of what it means to let one's light shine to give glory to God in heaven. 

As she has been sick and now on the day of her death, we who mourn are like Tabitha's friend in Acts- raising up the bits of her writing to show others. "See her work." "Look at how good this is." "She did such powerful things." To any who will come close, we pour out our grief- at her youth, at the randomness and horror of her sudden death, and our heartbreak for her family. 

I ache. 

“The Proverbs 31 woman is a star not because of what she does but how she does it—with valor. So do your thing. If it’s refurbishing old furniture—do it with valor. If it’s keeping up with your two-year-old—do it with valor. If it’s fighting against human trafficking . . . leading a company . . . or getting other people to do your work for you—do it with valor. Take risks. Work hard. Make mistakes. Get up the next morning. And surround yourself with people who will cheer you on.” - The Year of Biblical Womanhood

I am stricken. 

“But there is a difference between curing and healing, and I believe the church is called to the slow and difficult work of healing. We are called to enter into one another’s pain, anoint it as holy, and stick around no matter the outcome.”  - Searching for Sunday

When I first heard, I actually looked down to see if I was wearing a shirt that I could physically tear because garment rending seemed the only way to respond. 

“I am a Christian,” I concluded, “because the story of Jesus is still the story I’m willing to risk being wrong about.” - Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again. 

The death of a 37-year-old woman is not well with my soul. The death of a woman who spoke truth to the forces that oppose God and God's will is not well with my soul. The grief of tiny children, a husband, parents who did not plan to bury their child is not well with my soul. And it never will be.

Apparently, with this Tabitha, there was no Peter to see our grief and raise her from her bed for this life. I will not pretend to be okay with that.

I will not turn to platitudes, easy answers, or quick comfort. This absolutely sucks beyond belief. It is horrible. And, to be honest, I do not think I can be convinced that this was or is God's plan. And I don't think Rachel would have thought so either.

So, what did Tabitha's friends do in Acts? They wept. They told stories of her. They consoled one another. They shared their pain. They treasured her work and showed it to others. They told her story. They continued in that, for their friend, right up to the resurrection.

Sounds like the thing to do to me. #becauseofRHE

God's Long Now

Easter Sunday

Luke 24:13-35

If God had a clock, what would it look like? What would God’s desk calendar look like? I’m not just  thinking about marking the passing of time; I’m thinking more about the scope of time. Most of us are familiar with a 24-hour clock. We’ve seen or we’ve been people with five-year-journals or planners. 2^ndPeter says that for God, one thousand years is like a day and a day is like one thousand years. 

God’s concept of time is what I would call the “Long Now”. When humans talk about the Long Now, they are discussing time in ten thousand year increments. They work to think on a grand scale about time, about people, about medicine, about the care of the earth. The Long Now is a shift toward thinking that’s not just about investing or retirement, but for a reality that we cannot even imagine, for a time and a people or a planet, long after we are forgotten on this plane of existence.

I find the Long Now fascinating, but I’m even more intrigued by the idea of a Divine Long Now. It pulls at my spirit to think that God’s sense of time is so high, so deep, and so broad, that God’s sense of now puts us in the same time frame as Abraham and Sarah, as King David, as Jesus, at the women at the tomb, as Cleopas and his friend. God’s now already encompasses our own descendants, ten, twenty, and thirty generations out from us. God’s Long Now is a horizon we can barely grasp, and yet its scenery is so replete with holy grace and healing that we cannot ignore it.

Why am I thinking about God’s Long Now and God’s sense of time?

I think the Emmaus story contains what is possibly the most painful statement for humans to utter. We had hoped. Cleopas and his friend are probably drained. They witnessed the crucifixion. They stayed in Jerusalem until the sabbath was complete and then headed back to Emmaus. They heard the witness of the women, but were unsure how to understand it. 

So they say those words, “We had hoped.” I think “we had hoped” is exactly the opposite of the Long Now. We had hoped says we wanted to see this, we wanted to witness God’s glory in our lifetime, we had expectations that were not met, we do not know how to understand what has happened. We had hoped that the good old days would last forever. We had hoped that we would hold onto power. We had hoped that it would be our turn to be on top and maybe get to do a little oppressing of our own. 

We had hoped. 

Where people say, “We had hoped”, God says, “The story isn’t finished. In fact, we’ve only just begun. I’ve been keeping promises for generations. I’ve upheld every covenant I’ve made. I’ve worked to heal creation again and again and again. I’m pouring out love and mercy and grace, even to the extent of walking among you. And you think we’re finished?”

In my holy imagination, God sighs, with compassion, as Jesus walks down that road, explaining the scriptures, revealing God’s nature, character, and faithfulness… again. As this goes on, the Spirit is on the move- shoring up the witness of the women, bringing new life to bear in plants and animals, inspiring faith in people who were witnesses to the crucifixion at the margins of the story. Even as Jesus focuses on a pair of followers, God’s view of the Long Now is on the move.

God’s planner is eternal. And I don’t mean like our perpetual calendars, where you just shift the numbers to show a new date. I mean, God’s scope and plan for the on-going outpouring of love, the effort to bring us all into right relationship, the making of all things new (which is different than all new things)… God is always doing that work. As long as God is doing that, the only time that exists for the Divine is now.

When we think of first-century Palestine, when we think of the lie of Pax Romana, when we consider the other places or times that the incarnation could have taken place, that Jesus could have been born… we are only considering that from our own perspective in time. In God’s Long Now, Jesus life, death, and resurrection were but a minute ago and none too soon because people just seem(ed) unable to grasp the nuances of Divine control and power, revealing holy love. 

What happens to our understanding of time if we realize that we have been baptized into God’s Long Now? Our grief and pain over death remain very real. Our frustrations with the world remain true. We remain in compassionate disagreement with one another over many things.

And yet, we know that our trust in God, our generosity, our patience, our kindness, and our joy matter deeply because they bear witness to the reality that God is not made in our image, but that we are made in God’s. Our Easter joy is rooted in and grows out of the truth that God forgives and brings resurrection and restoration out of the worst that humans can do. When our hope in this truth bears fruit, the harvest is for justice and peace, for compassion and healing, for the little, the lost, and the least, for the prodigal son, his frustrated brother, his grieving father, and his unmentioned mother.

All creation lives for and leans toward this blessed alleluia-filled, glorious Easter blessing: that resurrection is always now. That God’s power was neither stronger then or is coming stronger in the future, but is now as it always has been. God’s Long Now means that Jesus breathed again just a second ago. He only just broke the bread at the table with Cleopas and his friend. It has only been a minute since Jesus inspired Augustine and Aquinas, since he strengthened Martin and Katie Luther, since he moved people to build Notre Dame cathedral the first time, since he stirred firmly those who worked to spread the good news in word and deed around the world, since he gave the inspiration to people to build this very church. Each of these people, these faithful, these witnesses could have looked at what they faced and said, “We had hoped.” Instead, they stepped out bravely in faith. And in God’s divine time, all of it happened right now.

And a right now resurrection includes, surrounds, and compels us to be people we never dreamed we could be, to do good that never previously occurred to us, to be present to one another, showing up, in ways new and old, but with timing that is always now.

We are God’s people by God’s call, God’s faithfulness, and God’s use of us in the world. We are resurrection people- serving a God who renews, restores, and reforms life and lives through grace upon grace. We are Easter people.

And because of God’s divine plan of time, Easter is always now. Jesus breathes again, in us, now. The earth is relieved, now. Our alleluias ring out now. We respond to grace now.

Christ is risen. He is risen indeed. He is with us, between us, in the breaking of the bread, out in the world forever, but also and always right now.

Amen.

Credo

I've recently been working with confirmands on the Apostle's Creed. The culmination of our learning
was to write a statement of faith of our own. I was asked, of course, about how long it needed to be. I replied that it didn't matter how long it was, so much as that it covered the person's understanding of God. I said it could be a haiku, for that matter, as long as it did the job.

Thus, I challenged myself to write my own faith statement in 17 syllables.

Here it is:

Source of all being
Bringing forth life in season
Theopneustos: all grace. 

Theopneustos= God-breathed.

Inspired by the Breath of God

Dear Pastor-

At our next Bible study, could you say a little something about your understanding of "God-breathed" and the relationship of that phrase to scripture?

- Inquiring Minds Want to Know


Dear IMWTK-

Firstly, it's unlikely that I'll ever say a "little" something regarding anything related to the Bible, but I will try to contain myself.

When I look to the word theopneustos, I find the word and the concept awe-inspiring. Theo for God and pneustos for breathed means a vision of how God moves and exists that includes bringing creation into existence. Theopneustos makes me think of the Spirit, as the Breath of God, moving over the void at the beginning of all things. Out of disorder and emptiness, creation was birthed and shaped. God's whole self poured out in breath (Spirit) and then in Word ("Let there be..."). Thus, the reality of theopneustos has existed since before any human was present to interpret it.

That being said, what does it mean for Breath and Word to come to a prophet (or an apostle)? In Geraldine Brooks's The Secret Chord, the prophet Nathan experiences near blackout states when he is called upon to speak to David. His body and his speech are overtaken and his voice becomes not his own. In this depiction, his prophecies are clearly God-breathed. Given some of the things that Nathan is called upon to address with David, surely the strength and the words needed to come from outside himself. Did they always? I don't know.

In writing for preaching, I sometimes have a strong bodily awareness of what I meant to say. I describe it as a piercing of my heart. I have a sense of what is meant to be said and, in the best times, the words come in close connection to the piercing. Sometimes the idea comes, but I have to wait for the words. When I have to deliver a sermon that has come in this way, I tremble before delivery because I know the concept is not mine. I don't want to mess up or try to take credit for what God is trying to do or what I have perceived that God is trying to do.

In these two examples, Nathan and me (never heretofore mentioned in the same sentence), God is delivering a word. There is a revelation of what the Spirit wants to be communicated and it is in keeping with who Jesus is and God's on-going self-revelation. Nothing a prophet or preacher is called to say, if it is truly of God, will contradict the nature of God- even the most intense and life-changing revelation.

That being said, neither Nathan nor I can testify to something we are unable to perceive. So, it is true that God inspires and gives revelation, but said revelation and inspiration, in my opinion, is likely only half-steps ahead of where we are as people. Thus, it seems unlikely that Nathan would have received inspiration for where the capital of England should be or that I will receive inspiration for how to terraform Saturn. Those are not revelations that are meaningful or relevant to the situations to which we have been called.

When scribes were writing Judges or Paul was writing to the Philippians or Revelation was being written for the encouragement of the early church, it does seem likely that theopneustos was at work. God breathed words and guidance for the authors to offer to their audiences. While it is with God's nature to know how long Paul's letters would last, it was not within Paul's capabilities to write for the ages. So God gave him words that were true for the time being and would be useful, alongside the Holy Spirit, for generations to come.

Of course, when we think of scripture, we think of the editors, the redactors, the translators, the scribes, and the church fathers and mothers who prayed about what to keep in the canon and what to reject. While the Spirit certainly guided all this work, human fallibility is unavoidable. In the best of circumstances, small unintended mistakes were made. In the worst of circumstances, intentional errors were made or kept for the purposes of preserving this or that human understanding or institution.

Therefore, in its initial imprint, the scripture was breathed by God for teaching, admonition, correction, and training in righteousness all toward the end of instructing us toward understanding salvation and living lives which demonstrate that we belong to God (2 Timothy 3:16).

Since that initial writing or prophesying, however, many people have entered the process. Most people have had good intentions toward sharing the word of God, but others have been less pure in heart. It is true that God is still speaking. The Word has not retired nor has the Spirit stopped moving. We are led constantly into relationship with the written word for the purposes of teaching, admonition, etc. to the same ends as those who receive guidance from the author of 2 Timothy. We use the Bible as a tool to understand God, to know God's history, and to be pointed to where and how God is still at work in the world and leading the faithful to participation in that work.

In my opinion, when and where it is argued that the written word is infallible, such arguments attempt to steal the air out of theopneustos. The written word can be inspired, useful, important, and necessary, but it is not and never will be God. Furthermore, God is bigger than our translation mistakes, printing errors, and personal whims tied to time and place. God's desires for creation are truth and the truth will out. And it will set us free. Theopneustos cannot be contained.

Job 13, RJV (Reblog)

Originally written for revgalblogpals.org and posted on 3/22/19. 

Job 13, Revised Julia Version 

Look, I have heard everything you are telling me, “friends”,

And your words aren’t new to me.

I have the same information that you do;

And, frankly, you’re not offering different or better interpretation.

I want to speak directly to the Almighty and take up this injustice in that conversation. 

Y’all… you are looking at my situation and

Basically talking out of your rear ends. You’ve got nothing.

If you were just quiet, just grieved with me, that would actually a true help,

Not whatever it is you’re doing now.

Listen real carefully to me now:

Is it better to be quiet or

To speak about God and turn out to have lied?

Unless you are defending the Divine by speaking about Holy Prerogative

And Holy Mystery and our own smallness and trust in Holy Grace, it is better to hush up.

Do you think God is going to own everything you’ve decided is true about the Holy,

When you try to make the Divine in your own image?

God is going to correct you, quite sharply,

If you continue to speak for the Divine without waiting for the Spirit and just relying on your own understanding.

Aren’t you a little scared of that? Doesn’t God’s awe-fullness cause you to quake?

Your quick words of “comfort” are trash.

Your false piety is fit for the compost pile.

If anyone is to confront God and speak directly,

Let it be the one who has actually suffered.

In this case, that’s me. I’ll speak directly to God,

What more can go wrong than already has?

I want answers and I will demand them, but not from you.

And, look, if God decides to kill me for my impertinence, so be it.

I still have greater faith in God’s way than in the quick falseness of people.

God knows my heart, seeing beyond my grief,

To the trust I have that the Eternal One works justice.

So, listen to me, “friends”,

I know what I am doing, even in the midst of my life chaos.

I’ve thought about what I will say to God,

And that’s between God and me.

There is no one who is truly going to intercede for me from you lot,

That’s what I’ve learned from your platitudes and cross-stitched maxims.

Holy One, I am coming to you directly and I am asking for two things,

And I’m going to do my best to stand strong in the face of your answers.

Pull back, God, from whatever it is that you are causing to happen to me,

It is too much for me to bear and I am growing fearful of you in a way that does not and will not produce love.

Then, O God, then I humbly ask you to reveal yourself to me,

And, admittedly terrified, I will open my eyes to see what you show.

Or, conversely, hear me out and then provide clear answers to me in a way I can comprehend.

It’s your choice, O God. It always is.

I don’t think I’ve been perfect, but I have been doing my best.

Since perfection hasn’t been possible, can you just show me where I’ve screwed up?

I hope it’s not a long list, but it may well be.

What I cannot handle is your silence.

I thought we were in a relationship and now it feels as though I have been Divinely ghosted.

And I do not mean Holy Ghost. I mean, where have you gone?!?

I’m already struggling, God, and you can see how my “friends” are “helping”.

Are you going to pile on by denying me tangible signs of your presence?

Because that feels harsh. If I’ve earned this kind of punishment, so be it,

But please tell me. Right now, I’m racking my brain and coming up empty.

I feel hobbled in my vocations, in my prayers, in my efforts to just live.

I worry about additional spiritual ambushes.

It’s hard to walk faithfully in this situation.

I know that “may the Lord bless and keep” means that

It is entirely possible that the Lord may not.

But right now, I feel like I am wilting produce in your holy fridge,

And that’s a waste for both of us.

Here my prayer, O God,

And in your mercy, answer me.

Amen. 

Baptismal Service Commentary, Part 1

The following is the Service of Holy Baptism from Evangelical Lutheran Worship (Augsburg Fortress, 2019). The text is black from that service. The blue text is my commentary on the service. Same with the green. This entry takes us through the first half of the baptismal service, prior to the act of baptizing. 

PRESENTATION

God, who is rich in mercy and love, gives us a new birth into a living hope through the sacrament of baptism. By water and the Word God delivers us from sin and death and raises us to new life in Jesus Christ. We are united with all the baptized in the one body of Christ, anointed with the gift of the Holy Spirit, and joined in God's mission for the life of the world.

This is when the family members of the person to be baptized, infant or adult, come forward with the candidate for baptism. Notice that the presentation, as an invitation, explains what baptism is. This explanation does not mention hell. In Lutheran understanding, the defeat of hell has already been accomplished for the baptismal candidate and for all people by God in Christ through the power of resurrection. Thus, baptism is not removing the threat of hell, but is bringing the baptized into a new life in Christ. Both coming to be baptized or to have baptized andthe living out of the new life are responses to what God has already done. 

God is the prime mover, the originator of all things. All we do is notto earn grace, but in response to it. This is specifically and most certainly true in baptism. 

PROMISES AND COMMITMENTS

As you bring your children to receive the gift of baptism, you are entrusted with responsibilities:

to live with them among God's faithful people,

bring them to the word of God and the holy supper,

teach them the Lord's Prayer, the Creed, and the Ten Commandments,

place in their hands the holy scriptures,

and nurture them in faith and prayer,

so that your children may learn to trust God,

proclaim Christ through word and deed,

care for others and the world God made,

and work for justice and peace.

Do you promise to help your children grow in the Christian faith and life?

Sponsors, do you promise to nurture these persons in the Christian faith as you are empowered by God's Spirit, and to help them live in the covenant of baptism and in communion with the church?

People of God, do you promise to support  name/s  and pray for them in their new life in Christ?

We do.

In the Promises and Commitments, the baptized or the family and sponsors of the baptized are committing to the shape of their new life in Christ. The baptismal life is not lived alone, but is lived out with other believers (and in the world). This life involves participating in faith community life, encounters and wrestling with the written word (scripture), regular participation in communion and affirmation of baptism, praying for others in word and deed, and becoming familiar with the most foundational texts of the faith (10 commandments, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Creed). 

This life is lived out for this purpose: so that the baptized may learn to trust God and, through that trust, live a life that proclaims Christ, crucified and risen. This proclamation will be evident in the baptized life in what the person says and does, what she prioritizes and what he rejects. Indeed, it is to be hoped that, with the help of the Spirit, works of justice and peace flow in the wake of the baptized person, leading people to ask about the source of their courage and strength. 

Baptismal sponsors agree to help with this work, as do congregation members. Even if a child is baptized in a “home” congregation, but lives elsewhere- the local congregation is committed to these promises to all children of God who come through their doors. 

PROFESSION OF FAITH

I ask you to profess your faith in Christ Jesus, reject sin, and confess the faith of the church.

Do you renounce the devil and all the forces that defy God?

Response: 

I renounce them.

Do you renounce the powers of this world that rebel against God?

Response: 

I renounce them.

Do you renounce the ways of sin that draw you from God?

Response: 

I renounce them.

Do you believe in God the Father?

I believe in God, the Father almighty,

creator of heaven and earth.

Do you believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God?

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died, and was buried;

he descended to the dead.

On the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven,

he is seated at the right hand of the Father,

and he will come to judge the living and the dead.

Do you believe in God the Holy Spirit?

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting.

The Profession of Faith is a statement of what the candidate or their family and the congregation both trust to be truthful about God and also ask God to help them believe. This profession begins in the via negativa, that is with what is not of God. 

God will not defy Godself, thus we forcefully reject spiritual forces that tell lies about God and attempt to make us feel separated from God’s love. 

God will not rebel against Godself, thus we forcefully reject the social and political forces of this world that attempt to subvert God’s will and purposes for reformation, restoration, and resurrection. 

God will not deliberately harm or separate Godself from the beloved creation, thus we forcefully reject our own internal forces that cause us to make idols of ourselves, falsely elevating self above God and neighbor. 

Once we have rejected what cannot be true about God, we are left with the Divine Mystery. In approaching that Mystery, all we have is the handful of ways that God has chosen to be revealed- through creation, through Jesus, and through the eternal work of the Holy Spirit, specifically in the church. We use the Apostles Creed, during baptism, to attest to these revelations, knowing that they do not represent the full nature of God, but a glimpse into the gift of eternal truth. 

This first part of our baptismal service teaches and reminds us that: 

1)   God moves first. 

2)   We respond to God’s grace. 

3)   The world needs and is waiting for our response, because the faithful response of the baptized person points beyond their actions toward God, the Source and Ground of their being and all grace.