10. Walk away. Do not give the bully attention. Completely unfollow on
social media, if applicable. The person in question has nothing that you want.
9. Information embargo. Engage
in ZERO information seeking. Consider what power you have personally and how
you can use it to stop streams of revenue, attention, or power to the bully in
question. Abstain from where you might see the person or be forced to hear
about him/her/them. If another person wishes to rant about the bully, politely inform them of the embargo. If
someone else wishes to know the whys of the embargo, give short truthful
answers that speak from your own experience. Do not mention the bully by name.
8. Sanction. Words do
hurt as much as actions. There are consequences to saying whatever you want,
whenever you want, to whomever you want. Gaslighting, lying, bluster, and
threats are not acceptable speech. Refuse space to the person who engages in
this behavior. A person who cannot hold to accepted rules in an interview,
debate, or conference is not invited back to play with other adults. Period.
7. Divest. Pull out of
situations and circumstances that give power to the bully. Tell others related
to the bully’s platform that you intend withhold money, time, and energy at all
levels of an organization until the bully is disciplined, if not completely
removed from representing the organization or group in question. Refuse to
participate in channeling any type of resource- fiscal, physical, or psychic-
to the bully.
6. Be smart. Gather
information that thwarts the untruths, mistruths, and misdirection from the
bully. You don’t have to be an expert on anything to refuse to be scared,
cowed, or overwhelmed by rhetoric unsupported by reason and reality.
5. Work with an ally. It
is extremely unlikely that you are alone in a bullying situation. With
particularly stubborn bullies, it can seem as though they’re everywhere all the
time. Get a friend or a group of friends to join in your anti-bullying efforts.
A joint information boycott or rant sabbatical may really improve morale and
keep you from feeling alone, isolated, or despondent.
4. Be not afraid. The
bully is not in control, despite how things may appear. God is in control.
Furthermore, it is essential to remember that there are judgments we are called
to make as those who are walking the Way, even as we acknowledge our own
imperfections. It is entirely acceptable to pray seriously for a bully to
realize the error of his/her/their way in thought, word, and deed.
3. Be prepared. There are
actions and opportunities all around that afford ways to defeat a bully. These
may need praying hands, feet, or mouths to help. See what you can do to make a
solid offensive move against the bully or bullies.
2. Yield to the Spirit. The
strength to resist the bully is a fire shut up in your bones. If the Spirit
says pray, pray. If the Spirit says
sing, sing. If the Spirit is leading
your energy toward the disciplines of art making, writing, movement, building,
silence, service, or prophesy, give way to that calling. Do not resist the
urge, believing that the bully is only fought through “more important work”.
This is the most important work,
refusing to cede spiritual ground to any force that opposes the real
resurrection and reformation work that God is doing and will not stop.
1. Embrace Christlike
behavior. Remember that righteous anger, flipping over tables, cracking a
whip, cursing trees, expressing frustration, praying in grief, weeping, and
wishing for fire are all options.
This was originally written by me for RevGalBlogPals and posted there on 8/15/16.
Comments