Sunday, November 16, 2014

Mantra

Today was filled with a lot of intense prayer and conversation. I knew it would be ahead of time, so I
tried to a lot plenty of time during the past week to quiet and meditation. 

HOWEVER...

My older child got sick and stayed home from school for two days, which meant I stayed with him. I fell behind in everything- including reaching a sense of peace and stability. 

What to do? 

Last night, I decided I would do a guided meditation no matter what time it had to happen. This lead to me sitting in the bathroom with headphones on at 10:30, listening to a soft voice talking me through awareness of the moment. 

This morning, I breathed my mantra. It is always a version of "grace in... [something] out". Since we were having a healing service with a time for individual prayer, I prayer for "Grace in, anxiety out. God in, self out." Over and over. 

When my hands rested on people's heads and shoulders, it was, as always, a powerful and disconcerting sensation. 

Being open to that work for God can only happen when I get out of the way. That takes time and effort. In time past, I would have spent a great deal of energy worrying about how the week didn't build up the way I'd hoped. 

Now, I trust that nothing is impossible with God. I did the best I could. 

God made it right. 

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