Sunday, April 5, 2015

The Opposite of Resignation

5 April 2015 (Year B)

Mark 16:1-8

            What is the opposite of resurrection?

            For a long time, I assumed death was the opposite of resurrection. It seems fairly clear- someone was dead, now they’re now… (ta-da!) resurrection! Yet the more I grieve people who have gone to their rest- Pastor John, Les, Inger, Sandy, and other- the more I rely on the truth that they are resting in God’s eternal light… the more that I hope that  the world can still change, that peace is still possible, that justice will rule, that love will win…

            The more I ponder all these things… the more I come to realize that death is not the opposite of resurrection. Resurrection incorporates wholeness, renewal, breath, movement, liveliness, forgiveness, grace, and hope. The opposite of resurrection, then, would necessarily be about brokenness, sameness, stagnancy, dullness, listlessness, hardened hearts, resentment, and despair. That’s not death. That’s resignation- believing there no change is possible. Resignation is the opposite of resurrection.

            Resignation is what the women felt as they trudged out from Jerusalem to the place of the tombs. Resignation is what they felt as they gathered their spices and ointments, quietly the day before. Resignation is the look they saw in each other’s eyes as they met each other on the road- Mary Magdalene, Salome, and the other Mary. Resignation is the sound of their sandals in the dust. Re-signed. Re-signed. He is dead. He is dead. Re-signed. Re-signed. We had hoped. We had hoped.

            Resignation is the opposite of resurrection. If death were the opposite, they would have left the tomb, rejoicing. We thought A, but now B is true! Instead, they leave in confusion and fear. Do they dare to hope? What does it mean? Why did this happen? How?

            Resignation is a habit. It comes from days, months, and years of the same stories, the same oppression, the same fights, the same fears, the same lies. Habits are hard to break. Thus, the women leave the tomb- spices and ointments still in their hands- wondering, “What do we do now?” The habit of a lifetime does not change in an instant.
            Resignation is our habit as well. Many of you may have worked through Lent to try to instill new habits in your life- stopping something that was unhelpful, taking up something that was needed in your life. Forty days is a hard slog, but new habits take work. We have to wear them- learn them with our muscle memory, our reach and grasp, our head and our hearts. No matter how well your Lenten discipline worked out (if you had one), the season of Easter provides a chance to embrace a new habit.

            Resurrection is a habit. Resurrection thoughts, resurrection hopes, resurrection actions are habits. They cannot exist in the same space with resignation. Thus, on this day, on this day of forgiveness, of new life, of realized hope, of daring to dream… on this day we begin the setting aside of all our resignations.

            We are not resigned to physical death being the end of life. We are not resigned to religious terrorism having a permanent place in the world. We are not resigned to the idea that our jails must be full. We are not resigned to inequality and inequity between different races. We are not resigned to rejection and exclusion of sexual minorities. We are not resigned to the fading away of creation. We are not resigned to Jerusalem as a city torn apart. We are not resigned to rape and incest being the fault of the victims. We are not resigned to political systems ruled by money and power. We are not resigned to believing nothing will ever change.

            Either the death of Jesus Christ- as a blasphemer and political prisoner- and God’s raising him from the dead as the ultimate trump to the powers of this world means something or it doesn’t. If it meant something then, then it means now as much as it ever did.

            We cannot be resigned to the idea that the very life blood of Jesus was shed so that we could ignore our neighbors and the situations close by us and focus on the sweet by-and-by or what comes next. The empty tomb echoes back to us the sighs of resignation. It echoes them back until we realization that hollow sound is not our answer. And it cannot be our habit.

            We are Easter people. We are people who have been saved from the fear of death, from the fear of separation from the love of God, from the fear of being unable to be good enough for anything. We are people who have been loved enough to die for. That knowledge sets fire to the edges of resignation and out of those ashes is born our new habit- resurrection.

            The women walked away from the tomb, silent, confused, afraid. They did not tell anyone. Ever? Somehow the news got out. They had to work on their new habit- the habit of resurrection. The habit of saying “He lives”. The habit of saying “God is greater”. The habit of saying “We believe”. The habit of saying “We have seen the Lord”. The habit of telling what they knew to be true about God in the world- no matter how anything looked. They had to live into the power of the resurrection habit… a week, two weeks, 30 days, 50 days… and so on.

            Easter is a season, not just a day. It goes on even longer than Lent. It goes on because we need the time to develop the resurrection habit and to see how it shapes our lives. A resurrection habit says a prayer of hope in the face of a depressing news story. A resurrection habit offers to have coffee with someone who has a different political opinion. A resurrection habit takes a short walk, even with great effort, because that’s the path to healing. A resurrection habit picks up the phone and calls a long-time acquaintance. A resurrection habit forgives, loves, hopes, trusts, and keeps moving forward.

            The women at the tomb were resigned to bodies staying dead, being unsure if Jesus was the Messiah for whom they had hoped. They were resigned to Roman oppression, to inter-religious fighting, and to wondering if God would ever act in the world in the way God had done in the time of their ancestors. Slowly, they developed the resurrection habit and all they knew, all they experienced, all they trusted was transformed. Through that, so was the world transformed as more and more people came to know the story of Jesus and to walk the Way, in the habit of resurrection.

            Grace is true. God reigns. Christ lives. The Spirit moves. Nothing is outside of God’s power to transform, to heal, to redeem, to forgive, to restore. The Easter truth is not just a platitude, something nice to say. It is something that we live into- developing our spiritual muscles, voices, and abilities. The Easter truth, the reality of resurrection, is to be the habit of people of faith in Christ. We are not resigned to fear, to despair, or to stagnation. 

The opposite of resignation is…resurrection. This I believe. 

The opposite of resignation is…resurrectionThis is our habit.


I'm Asking

Nearly every Sunday of my youth, my family drove to church together in our minivan. All six of us- parents in the front, brothers in the middle, girls in the back. Somewhere in the first few miles, my dad would usually begin the ritual. Speaking so all could hear, he would say, "I apologize for anything I did this week that hurt, upset, or offended anyone. Please forgive me." Sometimes there were personal apologies made after this general statement. We all then responded, "I forgive you." And so it went around the car, everyone taking a turn admitting and being released. 

Despite having a wide variety of feelings about this at the time, it remains a powerful image in my mind. 

So on this holy Saturday, I humbly apologize for anything I've done or said or forgot that hurt, offended, or grieved you. I am truly sorry. I ask your forgiveness. I pray for peace to be between us. 


Into Thy Hands

Good Friday 
Seventh Word

         I’m going to begin a prayer and you help me finish the first couple lines

Our Father, who art…
The Lord is my shepherd…
Now I lay me down to sleep…

            Most of us do not remember learning these words. They stir up from out minds almost automatically. The words feel like a part of us and they slide out of our mouths as easily as breath.

            “Into thy hands, I commit my spirit” was a child’s bedtime prayer in the time of Jesus. It is likely that Mary would sit down next to a young Yeshua, settling down for sleep on his bed of rushes in the family room. They might have sung a soft song or recited the Sh’ma (Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one). She might have spoken a soft prayer or blessing over him. Then she would have reminded him of the last prayer of the night. The last words for each child (and adult to speak) before falling asleep were a quotation of Psalm 31:5,  “Into your hands, I commit my spirit.”

            These words, believed to be of David- shepherd boy and powerful King- were the last prayer of the night, the prayer of trust and expressed hope before surrendering to the oblivion of sleep, which must have seemed like a kind of death. Praying as the psalmist gave parents a way to teach their children about trusting in God- a Creator and Redeemer who was with them in a way that even their own parents could not be.

            Thus, young Jesus would have uttered this prayer every day of his life. He would likely never remember having learned it. He might remember his mother helping him pray it. Or remember hearing Joseph whisper it at the end of a day’s labors. Jesus might have prayed it in the night with other children in his family- as they piled in together for sleep, exhausted after play, worship, and work.

            When Jesus prays this from the cross, he is no longer a child. He no longer retained the innocence of one who has not seen evil. He had been betrayed, denied, rejected, beaten, and crucified. His humanity had been stretched to its breaking point and that same humanness was about to experience the end of earthly human experience- death. Yet, in this moment, he is still the Son, still God’s anointed, still Emmanuel- God with us. Even as he experiences, he teaches. Even as he teaches, he saves. Even as he saves, he transforms.

            Jesus utters this prayer, “Into thy hands, I commit my spirit” and transforms it for his own self on the cross and for all who would pray it after him. By adding the word “Father”, Jesus reveals his nature as the pioneer of our faith- leading us into a new kind of intimacy and familial relationship with God, with himself, and with one another. Jesus prays the words just as he has thousands of times, but this time, we are able to hear that he is not David. He is not just another claimant to the title of Messiah. He is not a failed political revolutionary. He is not a rejected king.

            Only one who knows the heart of God would dare to address the Ground of All Being as “Father”. The only one would could truly know the heart of the Holy Parent is one who was of that heart, was of the same being, understood the same things, and had the same desires since before the beginning of creation. Only the Living Word would dare to pray with such familiarity and deep trust, trust that came not of hope, but out of knowledge.

            Only Jesus would pray a children’s bedtime prayer in the moment of his death to teach all who hear and all who follow how to live and how to die with true faith- born out of concrete expectation in God’s faithfulness.

            Every prayer of Jesus is a model for us, a way to pray- as children of faith, as children of light, as children of adoption by the Holy Spirit. In his last words, Jesus teaches us how to pray in the hour of death. Since most of us do not know that hour, we are therefore empowered to pray in this way every day of our lives, every moment of our lives. When driving, before sleeping, in choosing a daily intention, in our hobbies, in our relationship, we can and should ask God to shape our will, our actions, and our prayers to God’s own will, actions, and plans. We do this in the imitation of Christ’s last words, in letting this be the prayer we know by heart, “Father, into thy hands, I commit my spirit.”


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

My Brother's Keeper

The younger of my two brothers works in an office that is attached to the church where I work. He is the office manager of there. So we work about 30 feet from each other, for two different entities, but technically within the same building. 

He came over to my side today and told me he didn't feel well. He asked if I would go get him some clear soda and crackers, while he laid down on the couch in the youth room. 

I told him I would. I grabbed my keys, wallet, and phone and hustled to the Safeway across the street. 

In the store, I threw things into a basket- items for him and something for myself to eat for lunch. A woman stopped me, "Can I ask you a question?"

Feeling startled out of my train of thought, I said, "Sure." 

I get stopped for directions in stores all the time, so this is what I assumed was happening. 

"Are you a priest?" she wondered. 

Suddenly, I remembered I was wearing my collar. 

"I'm a Lutheran pastor," I smiled, surprised that it hadn't occurred to me that she might ask about that. 

Her companion said to her, "See- a pastor. Now you know." 

They both walked on, leaving me wondering if I should have said anything else. 

My realization was this: I had been so concerned about my brother's well-being that I had forgotten what I looked like to other people. 

I was so concerned about my brother that I forgot what I was wearing, how I might be perceived, to care what other people thought... because caring for him was primary. 

There's something to that. 

Friday, March 13, 2015

Friday Five and 500!

This is my 500th blog post. I could agonize about making it SIGNIFICANT (insert James Earl Jones voice here) or I could just write what I might any time.

Since I have a tendency toward procrastination through perfectionism, I'm going to do a Friday Five (questions from RevGalBlogPals and revkarla).

1.  What have you got going on today?
Work, going to the movies with Dear Son, more work, maybe time with my spouse tonight, making to-do lists, prayer
2.  What about a prayer request, how can we pray for you today?
It's a busy time of year. Please pray that I allow myself to seize opportunities for rest and that I resist the small demons of sarcasm, frustration, comparison, and sniping. 
3.  What makes you curious?
A political system that does not have stronger term limits, thus allowing people to serve for years without consideration for their skills or awareness of current needs or circumstances in their community. 
4.  If you got stuck in an elevator for three hours, (if that is too scary, locked in a room or stuck in a traffic jam), and could magically have any book or activity appear in a pouf to you to while away the time, what would it be?
After I was sure that I would be out eventually and that anything I was responsible for in the 3 hours (children, etc) were okay, I would likely read (whatever was on my Kindle), crochet (if I had things there), or take a nap on my jacket. 
5.  Use these words in a sentence.   Thirteen, lampshade, [a historical person, like Cotton Mather or Judy Garland} basket, hedgehog, and daffodils. (I'm pretty sure this is the first time that Cotton and Judy have appeared in the same sentence. Ever.) 
Grumbling toward his lampshade, Jonathan Edwards scratched out his sentence, "Sinners in the hands of rabid hedgehogs... Sinners in a basket of daffodils... thirteen sinners in a sinking ship... Sinners in the hands of an angry God...!"

Harrowing of Hell (Sermon)

This sermon had many off-the-cuff remarks, but the notes are enough to get a general idea. 

Genesis 9:8-17; 1 Peter 3:18-22; Mark 1:9-15

The basis of “he descended to the dead” in the Apostle’s Creed finds its roots in the 1 Peter reading. Along with a verse from Ephesians and one from Hebrews, a whole doctrine has been constructed around what Jesus did, as the Christ, in the interim between being laid bodily in the tomb and being resurrected, of the same body, on Easter morning.

Late Christian writings, circa 325 ce, refer to this time as the “harrowing of hell”, wherein Christ descended to the place of the dead, spoke the words of triumph to Satan, and offered the good news of the gospel to all those who would hear it. Eastern Orthodox traditions have a profound iconographic tradition around the harrowing of hell- showing the gates shattered, demons bound, and Jesus lifting Adam and Eve up from the pit by their wrists. (By the wrist is important, since by the hand would imply that people could grasp the grace by their own works.)

            Of course, the idea becomes more academic than theological very quickly. What was the understanding of the place of the dead at this time? A “hell” of damnation, torment, and punishment in the way we might think of it? A place where souls rested after death- Sheol or Hades? Was there a separation of those who lived righteously from those who were evil? Did Jesus descend bodily and soul or was his body in the tomb, but his soul in Hades? Was this necessary for him to experience the human reality of death or was it part of his work as the second person of the Trinity?

            So. Many. Questions.

            Frankly, the questions themselves are interesting, but they are not helpful. They’re the kind of thing we bring up for good conversation or to avoid the harder realities of what a life with God means. Trust me, I recognize this habit- in myself and in some of you.

            Why do you think we care so much about the specifics of this?

Christ suffered once for all.

Suffering is not an inherent part of what God desires for us.

Lenten disciplines are not about suffering, but about a deeper understanding of what it means to be a child of God with other children of God.

We have the ability to do our own harrowing of hell, by reducing the suffering of others around us. By taking seriously the realities of the world, the compelling of our baptisms, and the power we have through Christ to bring even small glimpses of peace. 

Christ did descend to the dead. He came into a world where people refused to recognize the light of the God of life in one another and he taught, ate, walked, healed, listened, lived, and died so that all people would be able to know that God knows what it is to struggle and to suffer.

We don’t make that story any more than it is with our sufferings or set-asides in Lent. The harrowing of hell happens when we take seriously the work of prayer, fasting, and showing love to all people. The harrowing of hell happens when we speak even small words of truth against injustice or oppression. The harrowing of hell happens when we set aside our fears of getting it wrong or not being perfect and just try. The harrowing of hell happens when we realize our fears, our idols, the false structures of society are not God and they cannot win. In fact, they are already as dust.

For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, in order to bring you to God.

There is a hell in knowing how many people do not trust the truth of that. There is a hell in believing that we save them. We don’t.

However it happened, whenever it happened, Christ has already done the harrowing of the hell of eternity.

We are co-workers in God’s kingdom with Christ in the effort to harrow the hells of this life.

You are not big enough to accuse the whole age effectively, but let us say you are in dissent. You are in no position to issue commands, but you can speak words of hope. Shall this be the substance of your message? Be human in this most in human of ages; guard the image of man for it is the image of God. – Thomas Merton

We do not do that work alone. Amen.

Acceptable Prayers

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord- my Rock and my Redeemer.

May the entries in my check register and debits from my account be acceptable in your sight, O Lord- Provider of all things.

May the way I treat my fellow human beings and other members of creation be acceptable in your sight, O Lord- Creator of all.

May the paths of my feet and the work of my hands be acceptable in your sight, O Lord- my Light and my Path.

May the works I attribute to you and the ways I perceive your presence be acceptable in your sight, O Lord- Healer of our every ill.


First published at by this author

Sunday, February 1, 2015


Mark 1:21-28

21 They went to Capernaum; and when the sabbath came, he entered the synagogue and taught. 22 They were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.

23 Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, 24 and he cried out, "What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God." 25 But Jesus rebuked him, saying, "Be silent, and come out of him!" 26 And the unclean spirit, convulsing him and crying with a loud voice, came out of him. 27 They were all amazed, and they kept on asking one another, "What is this? A new teaching—with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him." 28 At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee.


The earth and all that is in it rests in God.
All authority belongs to Christ.

The Holy Spirit’s efforts cause good to flourish across times and places.
All authority belongs to Christ.

The forces that oppose God cannot win.
All authority belongs to Christ.

Healing and wholeness are God’s desires for all people.
All authority belongs to Christ.

Pain and suffering cannot overcome the Light of Life.
All authority belongs to Christ.

Jesus promises to draw all people to the Father, through himself, at the end of all things.
All authority belongs to Christ.


In the centuries since the man with an unclean spirit was healed, our understanding of our bodies has increased in leaps and bounds. We know even more now about the miracles of our brains, our nervous system, our circulatory system, our skeletal system. We have come to understand even more that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. And we have come to know, as well, the depth of mystery that remains within us about how some things happen and some things work.

            As we have become more sophisticated in our knowledge, the forces that oppose God and try to tempt us from faith have to increase their efforts as well. In our day and time, it is not demons that cause illnesses, but demons that accompany illnesses.

            At the edge of our diagnoses are despair, loneliness, fear, doubt, guilt, grief, and a host of other little pulls that steal our joy in life, our hope in Christ and our faith in the truth of the Word of God.

            These are precisely the demons that we are called to exorcise. You are. I am. We exorcise them by saying their name and banishing them. Despair is sent to hell through encouragement. Loneliness, through companionship. Fear, through prayer and information. And so it goes. By fervently exercising our faith through caring for our neighbor, we can exorcise their demons and ours.

Christ’s love for the man in the crowd compelled the unclean spirit to flee his presence. Christ’s own love for us compels our own demons to leave us. However, it is also Christ’s love for us that compels us to help the people around us deal with the negativity, the pain and the unclean spirits that torment them.                                    

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Reflections on the Lord's Prayer

Matthew 6:7-21 

God of all people and places, you dwell in heaven and you walk with your creation.
Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

Your name is the source of all hope, joy, and consolation.
Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

Your ultimate reign is that for which we dare to long.
Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

Grant us what we need for today and the courage to share it with others.
Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

Dissolve the guilt and shame of our sins in forgiveness and strengthen us to do the same for others.
Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

Do not allow us to be waylaid by the forces that oppose you.
Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

At the end of all things, draw us to yourself through Christ.

Your name is holy. Your deeds are amazing.

People like solutions. There is hardly anything more aggravating than not being able to fix something or know an answer. In this room, right now, with the human knowledge plus the technological benefit of smart phones- there are many questions that could be answered, many problems that could be solved. Facts and figures and history and science- at our fingertips, in our minds, remembered and recorded

Prayer seems like it should have a solution, or at least more facts and more tangibility. So much depends, we think, on being able to do it correctly, on solving the prayer problem, that we hardly notice when we’re praying all the time. We focus on the “how” and we forget the “who”.

            Jesus teaches disciples to pray, in Matthew’s gospel, by beginning, “Our Father in heaven, holy is your name.” God’s name is holy because it is the name upon which we can call for all things- for healing, in distress, in joy, for hope, for help. We begin by calling on the name of God because we can ask things of this name (and in this name) that cannot come from anyone or anything else.

            Yet, when people tell me they have a hard time praying, often they are concerned about “getting it wrong”. We want to have all our ducks in a row because, surely, if we pray in the right way, we will receive the thing for which we are asking. And that, right there, is the tough mystery of prayer. The part we want to solve. It is hard accept that a God who has made us, who has lived as one of us, and who sighs with us in prayer is present and at work in all things, even when our experience is bleak and dark.

            If things are improving (in the way we expect), then God must not be listening (so we think) and if God is not listening (according to us), then we must be doing it wrong (it stands to reason). We are able to do so much, so quickly now and to know so many things… waiting with mystery is hard. What is hard is uncomfortable and what is uncomfortable is to be avoided. No one ever says, “Let’s go to the park with the hard benches! I love how uncomfortable we are there.”

            Part of living in faith, in trusting God, is learning to be consoled by the mystery of God’s relationship to God’s ownself (as Father, Son, and Spirit) and the mystery of God’s relationship to us- as we experience it through prayer- our prayers with words and our prayers with actions. God is bigger than our knowledge, than our imaginations, than our dreams. We cannot solve the mystery of God. That actually is good news. A puzzle has a solution. A riddle has an answer. But God, God is forever- and we live and rest, not through our own doing, in that eternity- even when we do not understand it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Book Review: You and Me Forever (Marriage in Light of Eternity)

As far as I can tell, Paul (the apostle) liked to be right. Luther and Calvin, may they rest in peace, both liked to be right. Yet none of those three ever wrote anything like this:
“I told you! I told you it would be worth it!!! This is unbelievable!!!!!!!!” I imagine shouting that one day when I see Lisa and the kids in heaven. They will no longer be my wife and kids, but we will love each other more than ever. I picture myself looking them in the eyes and saying, “I told you He would come through! I knew He would be true to His promises. I knew every sacrifice would be worth it. This is insane! He is amazing!!!” (p. 131)
If, at the start of the world to come, someone greets me by gripping me tightly and saying, “I told you so”- I will know without a doubt, no matter the scenery, that I am in hell. Unless the voice is coming from Jesus, in which case I will fall on my knees and say, “I believed, Lord, forgive my unbelief.”

Be that as it may, Francis Chan’s You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity was not exactly hell to read, but it was not a glimpse of heaven, either. In this book, the Bible is to be taken literally. Marriage is an institution created by God and it is hetero-normative, period. Both partners exist within their commitment to one another to be certain that each will experience heaven (that is NOT a metaphor). The mission of their marriage is discipleship, a pure witness to the work of fulfilling the Great Commission (Matthew 28). Men lead, through submission to God. Women follow, through submission to God. The practical advice of the book consists of guides for both individual and mutual conversation, study, and prayer.

How many times did I want to throw this book against the wall? Many. However, I more frequently found myself despairing. Chan and I, theoretically want the same thing. First, that the world may come to know and trust in the grace, mercy, and faithfulness of God as those truths were revealed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. Second, that marriage would be understood to be a loving partnership for faithful growth and support- a sacramental gift from God that is the foundation of hope, stability, sanctification, and peace in communities. Our ability to agree on even these two sentences can only occur in a sterile environment because once we hit the ground, we are at odds which is lamentable to God (as far as I understand 1 Corinthians).

Chan writes:
Things are different nowadays. Sin is more accessible and acceptable. Two specific areas come to mind, both deadly to marriage: pornography and flirting.When I was a kid, a guy had to let everyone in the store know he was a pervert when he walked to the counter to buy a Playboy magazine. These days, people can look endlessly at pornography on the privacy of their own phones. And many don’t even consider that perverted. It’s the norm!When I was a kid, a woman would have to flirt with a man face to face, in a normal social setting. Once again, there was the shame of people seeing it and labeling her a “whore” or “slut”. Now with Facebook and text messaging, women and men can approach each other in secret to test the waters. And the affairs that spring from it, as well as the divorces that result from it, have become more acceptable. Even in the church. (26)
When I read the Bible, it seems to me that sin was fairly accessible to our forefathers and foremothers in the faith. None of them seemed to struggle with finding ways to violate God’s covenants and laws. If God is the same- yesterday, today, and forever, then, sadly, the forces that oppose God are the same. They may have shiny new ways to tempt, but they are no more powerful than they ever were or ever will be. Arguing that humans are more sinful or that evil is more prevalent denies the reality of history and the reality of God’s relationship to creation in history.

Furthermore, all sin (sexual and otherwise) is a result of failing to acknowledge that God alone is God (here Chan and I would agree). Thus, breaking the first commandment (I am the Lord your God, have no other gods before me) happens when we objectify and deify anything- bodies, natural resources, money, work, power, control. The examples Chan gives do not go deep enough to the reality of sin, a felt separation from God in the world. They are superficial, shaming examples with no followed-up basis for repair or correction. The failure of the church in this situation is not a failure to preach strongly enough against pornography, adultery, or divorce. It is a failure to lift up the reality that ALL is a gift from God- our bodies, the bodies of others, our sexuality, natural resources, other animals, money, time, talents. Failure to respect and honor God’s glory revealed in all of these is a perversion of God’s desires. Period. There is no hierarchy in sin.

According to Chan, many churches lack faithful elders who can teach the faith and the faith lived out in long marriages.
In speaking to young adults in America, they tell me of how they would love to be mentored by older people who are living by faith. But they can’t find any. Some may be joyful and friendly, but no longer living by faith. Sadly, their lives consist of visiting grandkids and taking vacations. Some are still acquiring more possessions, hoping to make the best of their last few days on earth. (185)
I recently did two back-to-back funerals. One for a man, aged 93, who had been married to the same woman for 68 years. He had been a stalwart member of three congregations, quietly revealing his faith in service and perseverance. The second service was for a pastor who died just short of 70 years of ordination. His funeral was standing room only. His wife of 63 years sat just to the side of his casket. Until just before he died, he could tell you what psalm he wanted to hear for the day and why. There are many older people who live by faith, but maybe not in the churches Chan visits. Has he encouraged these seeking young people to find faithful elders in the churches where they might be (mainline denominations) or do they lament together with no action, but prayer?

All in all, this book was disappointing. Other reviews praise it, but they seem to be people who knew what they would hear when they read the book. That’s called preaching to the choir. The literal Biblical interpretation, the frank substitutionary atonement (as the only understanding), and the failure to acknowledge the mixed history of marriage as an institution and the church’s need to grapple with that fact all combine to prevent me from recommending this book to anyone.

You need to know that this theology is out there and that your parishioners will encounter it. Since I can’t recommend this book and I don’t have a ready-made suggestion to go in its place, I’ll make an alternate recommendation.

I suggest that instead of reading this book, you re-read the book of Ruth and consider the following 1) that God took generations to bring healing out of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, 2) the most famous words of commitment in the Bible are between a daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law, 3) marriage is a wholly different scenario in the Scriptures, and 4) we are all called to emulate the righteousness of Boaz by using our time, resources, and faith in redeeming those who would be left on the margins.

I received You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity (Francis and Lisa Chan) for review. I was not offered anything in exchange for the review other than a copy of the book.

This review was first published for RevGalBlogPals: