Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Admission

Here's the truth: I take 20 mg of Lexapro every day. I set a timer so I won't forget it. If I do forget it, I won't necessarily be able to tell that day, but I can tell the next morning.

Lexapro is most often prescribed for anxiety and/or depression. If you ask me why I take, I will say,
"To keep me from being homicidal or suicidal and so far it's working."

I don't often say anything about taking this medication. It is not that I'm ashamed, but there is often such a stigma about mental health and mental well-being in our culture that people who need some chemical help via prescription are judged harshly.

I received the prescription in conjunction with about a year of counseling. Lexapro is a medicine that MUST be tapered off, but I am continuing to take it now because I think it is genuinely helping me.

I feel well-connected with myself on this medicine- with what I like to do, what is true about who I am, and- most importantly- able to feel accompanied by God.

So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9b


If I had Type 1 diabetes, I would seek treatment. When my appendix became necrotic, I had it removed. I didn't die in childbirth, thanks to an emergency C-section. And, at a very dark time in my life, a little white pill and a counselor helped me get out of bed and do what I needed to do to embrace life.

I don't believe anyone of us can save ourselves. We need God. We need community. We may need help from sources we didn't expect. To claim the day of God's salvation, at hand, is to accept that the gift of wholeness comes through the cross and through our willingness to accept our limitations and God's boundlessness.

Right now, Lexapro helps me to think clearly, to stay calm, to realize I'm not a failure (or actively failing) at everything I do. Maybe it's a weakness, but I don't see that way.

My weakness is my reality. I'm human. Not only human, but truly human- a circumstance that God understands through Jesus and that has been redeemed through Christ.

Lexapro helps my mind. God's grace is the medicine that cures my soul.

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

You're a rock star. Thank you for your candor and transparency. Gift, gift, gift.

Teri said...

Amen. You are amazing.

Mary Beth said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your courage and honesty in sharing. I truly believe that telling these truths makes it possible for others to accept that they may need such help.

I've been on meds for depression & anxiety since the early 90's and likely will be forever. I am grateful to have access.

Snoskred said...

Hey there, I found you via the NaBloPoMo blogroll.

I ark up when people start going on about not needing drugs to treat depression. People do not want to say that in my presence, because they will get a long list of questions, they start like this..

Oh right. So, if someone is diabetic, you would tell them to survive without the insulin? Do you take headache tablets when you have a headache? What about someone with an organ transplant, would you advise them not to take the drugs that keep their body from rejecting the new organ? Do you take any drugs at all? Which ones? What for? Oh, you don't need those. I'm not a doctor, but I know you can stop taking them right away, they are not necessary.

And this will go on.. and on.. and people usually get the message within about 10 minutes and recant their ridiculous statement. :)

As part of NaBloPoMo I try to comment on as many participating blogs as I can, and I also add participating blogs to my feed reader.

So I’m just dropping by to let you know I’ve added your blog to my feedreader, I’m reading you loud and clear, I have a link up going at my place so my readers can find participating blogs which you are more than welcome to add your blog link to.

Looking forward to seeing your posts, and you’ll likely see me drop by again during November.

Happy NaBloPoMo to you!
Snoskred
http://www.snoskred.org

rphinvt said...

Thanks for being open about this. I guess I don't even think of anti-depressants as anything but benign. Myself, I take 40 mg of Lexapro (its generic equivalent) plus some amount of Welbutrin (its generic equivalent) daily, and have for about 15 years. I just wanted to say I love having you for a pastor and I feel both welcomed and challenged at church every Sunday. You are a gift.

gena g. said...

<3