Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Silence is not Golden

I haven't written here lately.

I haven't written here about Sandra Bland, though I did post a prayer here. I'm still thinking about her.

I haven't written about North Korea, though I promised my mom that I would on Mother's Day.

I haven't written about the fight over the Confederate Flag (the flag of the Army of Northern Virginia).

I haven't written about gently asking another blogger to alter her language from using black to equal evil and white to equal purity. (There is nothing inherently evil in the color black.)

I haven't written about how surprised I am when people bring up the "gay agenda" in a conversation that previously had nothing to do with homosexuality or homosexuals.

I haven't written about Donald Trump, periods, women's bodies under attack, a failure to respect others disguised as resentment toward "political correctness", or any number of other topics.


Nothing.

I cannot put a finger accurately on how I feel.

Annoyed, frustrated, irritated, tired, grieved, disgusted, despairing... all of it and more.

Frankly, my dears, I haven't written not because I don't give a damn, but because I give too much of one.

“If you decide that it’s a bad thing to worship God, then choose a god you’d rather serve—and do it today. Choose one of the gods your ancestors worshiped from the country beyond The River, or one of the gods of the Amorites, on whose land you’re now living. As for me and my family, we’ll worship God. - Joshua 24:15, The Message

I don't have the words to describe the way that I feel hunted and haunted because of my gender (female), the causes I support, the people I help, my ancestry, and all manner of other things. Yet, I go on because Jesus is leading and the forces that oppose God- sin, the Devil, and brokenness- will not win and this is just part of the fight.

I just can't always write about it.

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