Open Letter to My Kids for Mother's Day

My darling children-

I love you so much. With each of you, I remember learning that I was carrying you and immediately talking to you and praying for you. That's what Momma does still does for and with you!

I was recently on a trip to NC to help some other members of our family. I missed you both terribly while I was gone. D, I got to talk to you on the phone, but, V, you're still a little small for phone conversations. This was the longest I've been away from you. I looked at pictures of you both all the time.

When people would ask about my children, I would speak of you with obvious love in my voice. People would comment on how much I must miss you. I would confirm that I did. I want you to know how much I love you, every day, no matter what. I'll never not be your Momma. I will always do my very best by you and I ask in advance for your forgiveness when it turns out that my best isn't the best for you.

Because I love you so much, I want you to know the truth. You're not the center of my world. Besides the fact that role is filled by God, my central human relationship is with the person you know as Daddy. Our family is Momma, Daddy, D, and V. In our house, we also live with our dog, Ivan, and your uncle/my brother Uncle DD. So there are a lot of connections.

My relationship with Daddy precedes my relationship with either of you. Daddy and I have been through a lot of hard things together. He has listened to me talk out some very painful things that have happened to me. I have waited while he worked out frustrating things in the garage on his projects. We have not always understood each other, but we have tried to support one another.

I think you need to know that it isn't that I love Daddy more than you. I love Daddy different than you. We're not best friends or even soul mates. We have made a commitment to living together, to loving each other, and to helping one another to live in the world and not go crazy. It's not always easy. The only way we can keep those promises to each other is by making each other first. Our relationship- its solidity and solidarity- is what makes your lives good. (Surprise! It's not toys, books, or chicken nuggets.)

There are all kinds of potential questions you might have about this revelation. Would I choose if I had to? Absolutely. If I needed to, I would do whatever was necessary to keep you safe. Your well-being is my priority in any emergency. However, part of the way I look after that for you, day to day, is by spending time with Daddy, making sure we communicate, solving some of our problems, and letting him know how much I love him.

So, on Mother's Day, I want you to know that I love you so, so much. I miss you when we're not together. I'm always thinking of fun things we might do or try. I want you to grow up- strong, secure, and spiritually maturing- knowing that you are loved and beloved. I also want you to know, in the midst of all that, in the kisses and the hugs, in the wrestling and the hide-and-seek, in the family bed mornings and the long nights to get you to sleep alone… I need you to know how much I love Daddy. Our relationship, our love and life together, makes your happy life possible. It's that important.

Happy Mother's Day, pumpkins.

Love,

Momma

When the Body of Christ is Fat

Bitmoji Julia enjoys tea Within a very short amount of time, two people whom I love were called "fat ass". One of these slurs occurred in the church building and the other occurred in the same building and within the context of worship. Both incidents were the result of a person with already impaired judgment lashing out at the person who was in front of them, perceiving them to be unhelpful or denying aid or service. Regardless of the "why", the reality is that the name was uncalled for, hurtful, and aimed to be a deep cut. The reality is that a person who is under the influence of legal or illegal substances and often displays impaired judgment can still tell that body shaming- comments about shape, appearance, or size- is a way to lash out at someone who is frustrating you. That means those words and that way of using them are deeply rooted in our culture. An additional truth is that when we, as a congregation, attempted to console and listen to those who h...

God on the Go Kits

Like many congregations, we have lots of members who travel during the summertime. They may spend three months fishing or camping or traveling or hiking or playing. Given Alaska's long daylight hours, making it back into town on Sunday morning or even Sunday night doesn't always happen. One could rail against that or one can ask for guidance in the Spirit for how to keep community and communion alive in these months of family and personal sabbath in the woods and wilderness. (Still, if you're in town, come on down!) Inspired by Take Out Church, I made "God on the Go" kits for the faithful Alaskan family with kids. The kits and all their contents fit into the 64 ounce Ziplock containers with the lid snapping snugly. This should keep things watertight and just-right-sized for throwing in a duffle bag, backpack or suitcase. Or pushing under the seat of the camper. Or having at the foot of a sleeping bag. I have included below the list of items inside and the...

God's Punctuation

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28 Never place a period where God places a comma. - Gracie Allen Some of you may be familiar with the comedy duo of George Burns and Gracie Allen, who were active together in show business in the middle of the 20th century. George played the straight man to Gracie's comic timing. They were also married and had children. They were deeply in love. When Gracie was dying and George was deeply grieved, she wrote him a final love letter. One sentence that George shared from this letter was this, "George, never place a period where God places a comma." This was Gracie's way of reminding George that his life wasn't ending. There was a pause, but there would be more the sentence God was writing as the life of George Burns. That sentence, which may have been a proverb before Gracie wrote it, has taken on a life of its own. The United Ch...

Faith, Grace, and Hope

Search This Blog